-
Chris: Ever since puberty, I've dreamed of being a centerfold in 'Playgirl'
-
Chris: They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.
-
Chris: My job on the show is to be naked, not kill myself.
-
Chris: From my experiments with sexiness, it seems like a lot of people are afraid at first, and fear usually equals violence. But eventually I'll win their hearts, and instead of fighting, they'll want to make love to me.
-
Chris: I don't consider myself a stuntman but more of a sex symbol. My first experience with that was at age 7 when I performed an exotic strip show for my friend's mom after she caught me swimming naked in their pool. She told my mom on me, but secretly, I knew she loved it.
-
Chris: Regular underwear is too conservative for the likes of me. I'd seen pictures of those natives in the Amazon wearing g-strings for years and I'm like, "I want to be like those people!", you know? If you got it, flaunt it.
-
Chris: (When asked what his occupation is) I don't know, I just want to go all over the world and have fun. I am a barbarian.
-
Chris: [after Matt Hoffman attempts to jump the English Channel on his bike] He didn't even make it to England!
-
Chris: I can't believe I'm fishing with Steve-o as my bait!
-
Chris: Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.
-
Chris: [after being swatted by a puma while wearing a foam rubber mouse costume] I don't like him. He's mean.
-
Chris: Wait a minute. I already know my fortune, it's partying!