Dane Cook

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    • Dane: Did sharks like get together and go,Let's start attacking people. A guy in the news, again, the other day. A couple days ago, he got bit by a shark. The shark let him go. He was telling the story, they brought him back to the beach. Which is just where he wants to f-ing be, anywhere near the ocean again. And the news reporter was like, "What happened? Why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it? Yeah, I go in the sea sometimes just to f*** around with the sharks. I have this thing called a Shark Rocket and I shoot it at them. And it really annoys them. And then I just wade there in the water and they come at me. But I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move, it's something porpoises do and I then I pretend that I have a bottleneck and I stab them in the gills. And it really is effective......
      How did you get away? I just punched it and it let me go. Let's recap this. A f-ing shark come throught the water...right and this guy...Hey! The f-ing shark goes over to this guy...bites, this guy punches it in the face and a shark goes ALRIGHT! And tell me there's no time in your life when you swim faster than when a f-ing shark lets you go.

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