Dane Cook

Follow

Dane Cook Trivia

FILTER BY TYPE

  • Quotes

    • Dane: I grew up Catholic, Catholic. Every Sunday, every Sunday my dad made us get up and go to mass and you had to get there what? Quarter of five in the morning. Ya know because you wanted good seats. There were so many things to remember to when you got there, there was like little moves. Nobody knew the moves. Nobody knew. Like what was that one? Nobody knew, nobody looked at eachother what is this? Try to make it up as you go. It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And the only reason you knew peace was coming because the priest would say peace five times rapid fire. He'd go, "And the peaceful disciple said 'My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. As we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And he said I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE!'" But you know what you were doing while he was doing his little 'peace' rap? You were looking around for the people whose hands you were not going to shake. This was church and you were like 'Naw, f**k that guy.' 'No, here he comes. No peace be with you. I'm all set. Peace be with you--*slaps hand* I said I'm all set, I'm doing my thing. I got a lot of people. PEACE OFF! Peace be with you--don't let go. You do not let go of me!'

More
Less