Dane Cook

Follow

Dane Cook Trivia

FILTER BY TYPE

  • Quotes

    • Dane: I wanna be a fireman! I didn't really wanna be a fireman--I thought I did. I just wanted to spray sh*t with a hose. That's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to be a like sprayman, -no! I was f*ckin' good, I'm not laughing! I was really good with a hose. I could make it feel like it was raining-if you closed your eyes you'd think it was raining--THAT'S how good I was. You'd be like '"Oh my God, it is really raining, it's very cold rain.'... If I got to a house and it was fully on fire, f*ck that, I quit! I would just stand outside and watch it burn with everybody else and the woman next to me would be like 'PLEASE! MY SON! HE'S SCREAMING IN THERE!" and I'd be like 'Well he's probably on fire. That's what happens when you're on fire lady-- What are you doing out here. You f*ckin' think-for-yourselfer! why didn't you make a map for him or something!"

More
Less