Dane Cook

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    • Dane: Here's an example of a woman who was too optimistic with me recently. I was walking by a shoe store, and I looked in the window, and I see a pair of boots that I want in my life, OK so I walk in and I say to the women working there "Hi, excuse me. Hey, do you have these boots in a 12?" this is what she does, she looks at me very optimistically and goes "ummm let me take a peek" That's what she said by the way, "let me take a peek" I'm like "yeah while you're at it, look around don't just glimpse, I want these boots..move a box if you have to" She goes into the back, when she comes out shes super optimistic and shes holding a boot she walks right up to me and says '..we have it in a 9!!' "Really? do you guys also have a bone saw anywhere near by? Tell you what, just run at me really fast and jam that sucker right on my hoof. Do you guys have a time machine to send me back to the 7th grade when those fit my feet?"

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