Dane Cook

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    • Dane: A guy came to my show one night and he was really hammered, and he was sitting in the front row. Just being all despondent and mumbling to himself, and he whipped out the most brilliant line. I couldn't believe it, this drunk guy just blurted it out and it was amazing, I wanted to write it down and put it in a movie. I looked down at the guy, and I said "Listen dude, what's the matter with you?" and he waved me off, so I was like "What's your problem?" And he stood up, and he kicked his chair back, and 300 people got really quiet. And he goes, "I HAVE SEVEN PROBLEMS... AND YOU'RE FIVE OF THEM!"

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