Dave Attell

Dave: There is that aspect. The one night you don't go out, there's always the guy who's like, "You should have hung out." That's when all the great stuff happens. The three-way with the Dixie Chicks. Midgets dressed as Lincoln. All that stuff.

Dave: I usually spend all my bar time alone, so I don't hook up much. Going alone doesn't work.

Dave: You know you're a loser when you're in a town full of beautiful adult film stars, and the occasion curious electronics conventioneer, and you're still going home alone.