Dave Attell

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    • Dave: There is that aspect. The one night you don't go out, there's always the guy who's like, "You should have hung out." That's when all the great stuff happens. The three-way with the Dixie Chicks. Midgets dressed as Lincoln. All that stuff.

    • Dave: I usually spend all my bar time alone, so I don't hook up much. Going alone doesn't work.

    • Dave: You know you're a loser when you're in a town full of beautiful adult film stars, and the occasion curious electronics conventioneer, and you're still going home alone.

    • Dave: I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that. I could give a sh*t about any of that stuff.

    • Dave: I think if you drink enough, you can capture almost any drug experience.

    • Dave: I never knew so many people saw Pootie Tang. Everybody always brings it up. Yeah, people either love it or hate it. It's the Half-Baked of the century.

    • Dave: You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire--they're exactly alike.