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Dean Martin: (As guest host on The Hollywood Palace after the Rolling Stones preformed a musical set.) You know, you think these young musical people nowadays have long hair, but that's just an optical illusion. Its really a combination of low brow and fuzzy eyebrows.
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Dean Martin: We will play a little more situational now, where runs are more important. I feel pretty good about our team
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Dean Martin: We try to find chemistry; we don't do a lot of situational baseball
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Dean Martin: Routine plays that we have been making, we just didn't make them
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Dean Martin: When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut
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Dean Martin: There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does
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Dean Martin: I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'
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Dean Martin: Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent
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Dean Martin: I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up."
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Dean Martin: it was a woman who drove me to drink, come to think of it I never did hang around to thank her for that'
'Hey lady! do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me
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Dean Martin: If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Dean Martin: I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
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Dean Martin: You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.