Dick Van Patten

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  • Elka's Wedding

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 22 - 8/31/11

    It's Elka's wedding day, but Joy, Melanie and Victoria cannot remember a thing from last night.

  • Fetus Don't Fail Me Now

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 13 - 11/13/08

    After thinking that she was just bloated, Sarah finally realizes that she's been pregnant for 9 months. Steve and Brian hurt their backs.
  • Sweet Lady

    Full Episode

    S 8 : Ep 10 - 1/26/06

    Jackie meets the local star while at the salon with Fez: talk show host Christine St. George. Her new goal in life is to be Christine's co-anchor on "What's Up Wisconsin?", but breaking in to show business is harder than she thought it would be. She finally gets a job working with Christine, but it's not quite the job she wanted. Randy wants to take Donna away to a cabin, which makes her suspect his intentions; Red takes Hyde to his Lodge, and Hyde's intentions come under suspicion.moreless
  • Spring Breakout

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 17 - 4/10/05

    Gob confronts the editor of the videos that showcased his magic mistakes; Michael tricks Lucille in to rehab, and then attempts to get her out after George Sr. is kidnapped.
  • Two Weddings, an Engagement and a Funeral

    Full Episode

    S 8 : Ep 17 - 2/23/04

    Annie's half-sister Lilly (guest-star Michelle Phillips) is getting married and wants their ailing father Charles to walk her down the isle. Annie worries that the wedding ordeal might be too much for her father. Meanwhile, Fred (guest-star Al Ruscio) and Mrs. Bink (guest star Eileen Brennan) attend premarital counseling with Chandler, but Fred's mother (guest-star Carol Arthur) tries to put a stop to the wedding because she thinks Mrs. Bink is a gold digger. Lastly, two mentally challenged people, Jimmy (guest-star Glen Poehlman) and Pat (guest-star Pam Rawuka) decide to get married after just one date together. The couple ask Chandler to perform the ceremony for them, but Jimmy's parents (guest-stars Dick Van Patten and Patricia Van Patten) try to put a stop to it.moreless
  • Jimmy Asks Women "What Do You Weigh?"

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 14 - 3/9/03

    Hosts, Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel, go on a beer drinking binge with stuntman, Super Dave Osborne, and Adam heads to a fat camp to ask women, "What do you weigh?" Next, Jimmy screens another installment of "Wacky Back" with the studio audience, and the two hosts end the episode with a visit a lesbian summer retreat called Camp Kournikova.moreless
  • Training Camp

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 10 - 8/20/00

    Take a Man Show look at the world of sports as Adam and Jimmy go two on two with the Juggy Twins in a game of strip basketball. Plus Adam tries out to be a professional football player, Karl Malone on Diet and Exercise, a segment called "Jamal Anderson: A Man Show Man", and "The Man Show Hall of Fame" congratulating Frank Gifford of his selflessness by marring Kathy Lee Gifford so none of us had to.moreless
  • Brian: Portrait of a Dog

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 5/16/99

    When a heat wave hits Quahog, Peter gets Brian to enter a dog show to win $500 so that the family can get a new air conditioner. When they argue over a trick gone bad, Brian walks out on the family and Peter replaces him with a cat. Brian struggles to assert his civil rights and soon ends up at the pound. Luckily, Peter is able to bail him out by bribing the judge.moreless
  • Al Gets Robbed

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 13 - 12/6/97

    Al has just gotten back from his cave-dwelers' convention with Harvey when he notices that he has gotten robbed. He starts looking for things to do, but he can only find trash. The Hooded Avenger brings in a TV set, so Al can at least watch TV. Al turns onto the news channel and sees that the police have found the guy who robbed him. So, Al does get his stuff back.moreless
  • Because I Said So

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 10/25/97

    J.B. Toppersmith's nephew Huey comes for a visit. J.B. tells Al if Huey is unhappy, he will get fired. When Huey arrives, Al tries to make him as happy as possible, by singing when he is commanded to. Al is sick of this, especially of Huey's bullying. So Al starts trying to find other ways to deal with Huey. Huey becomes unhappy and fires Al, but Al decides to quit. As Al is walking away, Huey tries to get Al to stay and says that nobody likes him. Al watches TV with Huey, and he becomes nicer.moreless
  • You Can Go Home Again

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 1 - 9/20/96

    The Matthews brothers, having been on the road all summer, are finally headed back to Philadelphia; but Eric, afraid there's nothing waiting for him at home, decides to stay in Pottstown. Meanwhile, Alan wins the Grocie Award. Having reached the pinnacle of his profession, he's still not happy.moreless
  • Nice Work If You Can Get It

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 6 - 10/22/95

    Controlling Maryann comes to Cybill's financial rescue when the star of her new sitcom, Dick Van Patten, drops dead during a curtain call.
  • Season's Greedings

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 9 - 12/4/94

    A vengeful toyman creates a toy which can make the adults act like children, and sure, all the Daily Planet gang will be affected too, even Clark.
  • Murder in the Electric Cathedral

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 16 - 2/16/86

    Jessica must find the murderer of her close friend whose will is in contention between family and a popular evangelist and soon finds herself in the middle of a feud between different members of the evangelist's family.moreless
  • The Gipper Caper

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 9 - 8/10/77

    Tom's dentist challenges the family to a touch football game.
  • Hit and Run

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 5/3/77

    A real estate developer gets upset with an article Tom writes opposing his latest project, and his animosity towards Bradford doesn't improve when he gets in a fender-bender with Joanie. Meanwhile, Elizabeth lines up three dates for the prom, and naturally they all arrive at the same time.moreless
  • V is for Vivian

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 4/26/77

    When Tom's sister Vivian shows up for a visit, she turns the Bradford home upside-down by encouraging the kids to follow their dreams. This sounds like a good philosophy, but it has disastrous results with this family!moreless
  • Quarantine

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 6 - 4/19/77

    When Mary's boyfriend comes down with a mysterious ailment, the entire Bradford household becomes quarantined. Luckily, David manages to avoid the illness, but then gets roped into being an errand boy for his quarantined family.moreless
  • Turnabout

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 5 - 4/12/77

    The Bradfords throw a party to celebrate Doctor Maxwell's 25th anniversary. David helps an older woman who is stuck in a traffic jam and brings her to the party, but when she turns out to be Dr. Maxwell's political rival, she winds up causing more trouble than he bargained for.moreless
  • Women, Ducks and the Domino Theory

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 4 - 4/5/77

    Things get a little tense around the Bradford home when Tommy's dream girl stands him up and neither David nor Tom wants to go on their annual duck hunt. To add to the confusion, Elizabeth gets grounded when she stays out past curfew and Nancy decides she wants to become a cheerleader.moreless
  • Pieces of Eight

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 3/29/77

    Tom becomes the editor-in-chief at his newspaper, but quickly runs into trouble when the printers go on strike. The whole family pitches in to help earn extra money. Nancy is passed over by a modeling agent, while Joan gets hired on as a photographer by the same agent.moreless
  • Schussboomer

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 2 - 3/22/77

    Matilda, Mary's very pregnant and unmarried friend, stays in the Bradford house while she is between apartments, but her attitude toward marriage upsets Tom. She learns the joys of parenthood and paternal Tom helps deliver the baby.moreless
  • Never Try Eating Nectarines Since Juice May Dispense

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 1 - 3/15/77

    "Never try eating nectarines since juice may dispense" is the phrase Tom and Joan Bradford use to remember the names of their children: Nicholas, Tommy, Elizabeth, Nancy, Susan, Joanie, Mary, and David. David moves out of the Bradford house when he gets tired of fighting with his Dad. The youngest Bradford children fight over his bedroom, and Tom learns the importance of having a family relationship. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is arrested for possession of narcotics and Tom and Joan have to find $1,500 to pay a lawyer.
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  • Beauty on Parade

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 10/13/76

    When Wonder Woman's alter-ego, Diana Prince, enters a suspicious beauty contest to uncover the truth behind the sabotage of radar scanning equipment, she and Steve discover that there is something much more insidious underway that threatens the security of the United States.moreless
  • The Adventure of the Eccentric Engineer

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 15 - 1/18/76

    Lamont Franklin, a once brilliant but now seemingly senile inventor who is murdered in his electric train workshop. It appears as though no one could have entered or left the workshop during the time in which the murder must have taken place.moreless
  • Alcohol

    Full Episode

    S 7 : Ep 9 - 12/10/74

    Officers are on the lookout for an elusive bald serial rapist. The comical antics of an alcoholic land him in jail. An Asian woman mistakenly donates a wood burning stove that holds her family's life savings. An overweight woman becomes stuck in a phone booth.

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  • They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be...

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 9/27/74

    A bizarre force sweeps through Chicago, killing randomly. It has the strength of a hurricane, generates a massive electromagnetic field, steals lead and electronic equipment, and sucks the bone marrow out of humans and animals. Carl realizes he's onto a huge story - if he can find out exactly what this force is.moreless
  • No Hearts, No Flowers

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 5 - 1/14/73

    Sally's next on a maniac's agenda; a psychiatrist assists.
  • Anniversary Gift

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 12 - 12/11/72

    Peter gives Doris an antique car to mark their Anniversary, the problem is the car is so slow that Doris is late for all her appointments.
  • The Great Sanford Siege

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 3/3/72

    Fred does not feel like paying his bills and he throws them in the trash claiming that they never arrived, dragging out the services for as long as he can. After doing so, Fred receives threats that say that they will turn off the gas, electricity, and other utilities, and repossess his furniture if he does not pay.moreless
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