Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres Trivia

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    • Ellen: (while hosting the 2005 Emmy's) I keep hearing myself say words like "winning and losing" as if that's what tonight is about. As if winning an award would validate you. Come on, if you don't win tonight, it doesn't mean that you're not a good person, it just means that you're not a good actor. (everyone laughs) I'm kidding. It just means that you're not as good as the other people in that category. (everyone laughs) Kidding again. Winning is not important. How you feel about yourself is important and of course, you're gonna feel a whole lot better about yourself if you win. (everyone laughs) But let's be realistic, most of you tonight will not win. (everyone laughs) Let's look at the bright side of not winning…(pause, everyone laughs) Gimme a minute, there's gotta be something. Well, you don't have to get up, you can stay comfortably seated and you don't have to make an acceptance speech. That's---that's not easy because no matter how hard you try to thank every body somebody's gonna feel left out. Somebody's gonna have their feelings hurt. (mockingly) "Well, I guess those eyebrows just waxed themselves." (everyone laughs) Here's a tip the best acceptance speech is "I'd like to thank everyone who helped me get this far" followed by a (makes a "click, click" noise with her mouth and everyone laughs) It's the best thing. But just please don't say you didn't expect it. You were nominated, you had a one in five chance. (everyone laughs)

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