Ethel Merman

Ethel: Some things in life aren't even worth regretting. You're better off passing them like a freight train passes a hobo.

Ethel: I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.

Ethel: I love typing a letter. It just seems to flow. The only thing is that I'm afraid of breaking my fingernails.

Ethel: I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.

Ethel: I can hold a note as long as the Chase National Bank

Ethel: I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.

Ethel: Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to Broadway.

Ethel: You'll never prove you're too good for a job by not doing your best.

Ethel: Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

Ethel: At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped-and I haven't had a cigarette since.

Ethel: You may think I'm playing the part, but inside I'm saying 'Screw you! You jerks! If you were as good as I am, you'd be up here.