Frankie Boyle

Frankie Boyle


8/16/1972, Glasgow, Scotland

Birth Name

Francis Martin Patrick Boyle


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User Rating
17 votes


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Trivia and Quotes

  • Trivia

    • Frankie starred in the Glasgow International Comedy Festival.

    • Frankie supported Men In Coats on their UK tour.

    • Frankie attended Aston University for a year but dropped out.

    • Frankie has two children, a daughter and a son.

    • Frankie has a BA(hons) degree from the University of Sussex.

    • On the 29th June 2007 edition of 8 Out Of 10 Cats, Frankie revealed that he and his girlfriend are expecting their first child.

    • On the July 30, 2007 edition of Richard & Judy, Frankie revealed that he has a fear of flying.

    • Frankie won the Daily Telegraph Open Mic award in 1996, marking the start of his rise to fame and subsequent TV appearances.

    • Frankie is allergic to British monetary coins as they contain copper. He revealed this fact on the June 16th 2007 edition of Would I Lie To You? on BBC One.

    • Frankie is a teetotal ex-alcoholic, a fact he revealed on the August 9th 2007 edition of Mock The Week. A man once offered Frankie a pint of lager shandy instead of bitter when they met in a bar, as he did not understand the concept of being teetotal.

  • Quotes

    • Frankie: In general, my stuff tends to be more challenging than the other comics I'm on with. So if everyone else is quite crowd-pleasing, I'll come on and try to tense them up with material that they don't really want, so that I've got that edge of nervousness to work with. If you did a slick set every gig you'd never really develop, you have to be dead disciplined about mixing it up and not retreating into the same old material.

    • Frankie: For a long time having a gig ruined my day. It was such a tough time and I only kept going because it was a way of earning money.

    • Frankie: What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

    • Frankie: I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

    • Frankie: They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

    • Frankie: The average Glasgow guy now looks like he spends more time in front of the mirror than a pubescent girl. You know what? If you're going to spend 2 hours on your appearance every day why not work out you fat f**ks? If you're going to have a haircut that makes you look like a moderately powerful Pokemon, try to make sure you're body doesn't look like something that's just been fished out of a river.

    • Frankie: You got this thing on DVDs now, where they say DVD piracy funds the drug trade... Funds the drugs trade – I don't know about you, but I reckon, if you can't make money out of heroin, you're gonna struggle in general. "Oh, the problem with this crack cocaine is people can just take it or leave it – thank God we're still selling the Harry Potters!"

    • (on the topic of flying on Mock The Week)
      Frankie: There's nowhere I want to visit so much I'm willing to be fired towards it at 700mph in a tin can full of other people's farts.

    • (on the topic of Drinking on Mock The Week)
      Frankie: As a teetotal ex-alcoholic this should be quite good. I drink energy drinks now. It's good that they've finally managed to can anxiety. I'm teetotal, right, a concept that Scottish people don't understand. So I did a gig in Fife, I was on stage, and this guy was going up to the bar and he went 'Hey, I'll get you a drink as well'. I went 'Well, I used to be an alcoholic, so I don't drink any more, but thanks anyway'. And he looked at me for a bit, and then he went 'Pint of lager shandy?'.

    • (On Mock The Week as two scientists who have too much time on their hands)
      Frankie: (as Scientist 1) Shall we have a go at curing cancer?
      Frankie: (as Scientist 2) No, I'm going to see how many Fruit Pastiles it takes to choke a kestral.

  • frankie boyle: scottish legend

    Frankie Boyle, Dara O Briain named him as the dark heart of mock the week, but i say that he is the true star of mock the week. Frankie Boyle is the one true reason that i watch mock the week. Thank you, Frankie. Thank you for given me the greatest laughs of my life. Frankies jokes are legendary. he always seems to make Jokes about Kerry Katona. Good for him. Its about time someone made jokes about her. I donb't like Kerry Katona. Frankies joke about the queen and her haunted, erm, place is one of the greatest jokes i have ever heard in my life. Bravo, Frankie. Bravo!moreless