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Jack Paar: Everyone thinks Ed Sullivan discovered The Beatles. That's not true. I had them on before he did. I did it because I thought they were funny, not because I liked the music. I'm a Muzak kind of guy ... my home's like living in an elevator.
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Jack Paar: (Context unclear) I kid you not...
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Jack Paar: My life seems like one big obstacle course, with me as the chief obstacle.
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Jack Paar: It's almost impossible to dislike me because I do nothing.
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Jack Paar: I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split, it's shredded.