Jason Alexander

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  • The Car Salesman

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 1 - 9/23/01

    Larry David and his wife purchase a new oceanfront home owned by a television star's agent. Meanwhile, Larry shocks his wife and friends by deciding to take a job as a car salesman.moreless
  • The One Where Rosita Dies

    Full Episode

    S 7 : Ep 13 - 2/1/01

    In an attempt to make up for her slow massage business, Phoebe takes a job as a telemarketer for an office supply company. When her first call is to a despondent office manager, she takes it upon herself to convince him to not kill himself. Monica and Ross discover that their parents are selling their house. When they go to collect their stuff, they find that Mr. Gellar used Monica's boxes to stop flood water from getting to his Porsche and all her things are ruined. While attempting to re-arrange the furniture, Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair (that he's named Rosita).moreless
  • Pet Stories You Don't Have to Walk

    Full Episode

    S 18 : Ep 2 - 11/20/00

    "Pet Stories You Don't Have to Walk", read by Jason Alexander, features stories about pets. LeVar Burton throws a birthday party for his golden retriever, Roy, and treats the dog to a bath at a pet spa for his special day.moreless
  • The Fact

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 16 - 7/18/00

    Dogbert "writes" a new book on "Chronic Cubicle Syndrome: If You Think You've Got It, You've Got It" which becomes a best seller. The Pointy-Haired Boss sees this as a market opportunity for the company to come up with a new product. Dilbert is put in charge of developing the product that will fight this dreaded affliction, that is after they find some "favorable facts" that will justify their product. Meanwhile, Dogbert begins marketing his "Secret Juice Formula" which is believed to help fight the symptoms of "Chronic Cubicle Syndrome". Dilbert struggles to develop a product to combat a condition that doesn't exist, but eventually he hits upon the idea for "Shock Pants". Of course marketing decides that the voltage on these pants should be turned up and people are getting hurt. With the threat of lawsuits pending Dilbert is going to be made a scapegoat unless he can come up another use for the product and target a different market. After all, it's all about marketing.moreless
  • The Delivery (2)

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 14 - 6/13/00

    Dilbert reviews the results of his "ultrasound" and demands a second opinion. He discovers he is not going to get any benefits. So he tries to sell his story to make money to cover his benefits. The media circus begins and a custody battle is staged, with Judge 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin presiding. The hillbilly, the billionaire, the cow, the robot and the engineers fight for the custody of Dilbert's unborn baby. When the verdict comes in, Dogbert executes plan B, which involves Dilbert's escape and delivery of the baby, eventually to the planet Krypton.moreless
  • Pregnancy (1)

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 13 - 6/6/00

    Dilbert creates a model rocket that he plans to send into space to search for intelligent life. Ratbert sets it off and the rocket travels into space and collects alien DNA, and when it returns to earth it also picks up samples of hillbilly, robot, cow and engineer DNA. The rocket deposits the results of its search in Dilbert, who subsequently beings showing signs of becoming female, as he has become pregnant. Meanwhile, the company gets a new HMO, which is contained within an Italian restaurant.moreless
  • The Virtual Employee

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 12 - 5/30/00

    The engineers hear that there is an unused cube to be had. They discover its location and lay claim to it, before marketing can get a hold of it. To ensure that they don't lose this precious commodity, they quickly create an employee named Todd as a new employee and the cube's occupant. Word quickly spreads about this great new employee and soon Todd is made the engineering project head. So Dilbert and Alice find that they must do Todd's work in addition to their own and the Wally's When Catbert can't find any record of Todd, the engineers create an employee file for Todd. Catbert counteracts by instituting a rating system, which means that while Todd is the highest performer in the group, Wally is classified as "Retard", which gets him fired. The engineers decide they need to kill Todd. The Pointy-Haired boss overhears this and the engineering team is arrested and it's up to Dogbert and Wally to save the day.moreless
  • The Assistant

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 10 - 2/15/00

    Dilbert meets an old co-worker who, despite being an incompetent engineer, has made it big working for another company. As a result the engineers find out there are other opportunities out there. Upper management decides to promote one of the engineers, to make the others think they might still have a chance at a career path. Dilbert is promoted and given an assistant. Wally is intrigued by the concept of engineering jobs in the outside world. Jealous of Dilbert, Alice convinces Catbert to make Asok her assistant. Then Alice goes into competition with Dilbert, assistant versus assistant.moreless
  • The Merger

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 7 - 1/25/00

    The Pointy-Haired Boss is convinced their company needs to merge with another company to help them spend their excess money and as a bonus gain some "Synergy". Dogbert is hired as a merger consultant to help them seek a company that they can merge with. Dogbert, Dilbert and the Pointy-Haired Boss go out to a bar where CEO's hang out called Senor Management and when the bar closes they find only one CEO left that they can merge with, the CEO of an alien corporation called "Brainsuck Industries". To stop the merger that is breaking up "his family", Dilbert figures out how to stop the merger with some help from marketing.moreless
  • The Shroud of Wally

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 2 - 11/9/99

    Dilbert has a near death experience and tries to get his benefits reinstated. He also searches for the meaning of it all, is the afterlife really just another cubicle? Meanwhile, through a bizarre accident, a group of multi-level marketing students begin to worship Wally.moreless
  • Y2K

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 10 - 5/3/99

    Dogbert and Ratbert try to decide where they are going to celebrate the new millennium. Dilbert is put in charge of the company's Y2K problem. Wally plans to scam the banks, trusting that their computer records will fail them. Wally may be the key to "Black Betty," the old mainframe that still runs the whole company. The Evil HR director, Catbert, begrudgingly offers the team assistance in the help of some hypnosis books to recover Wally's memories of when he helped install the mainframe. He also offers additional support in the form "Misfits and Losers" such as: The Useless Guy, Ted the Generic Guy and Zimbu the Monkey.moreless
  • Little People

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 4/5/99

    Dilbert discovers that someone has been using his computer to access dwarf pornography on the Internet. He is summoned to appear before the evil HR director, Mr. Catbert and forced to sign a confession. Also the office's supply of dry erase markers is missing. Dilbert discovers the culprits are group of former employees who have been "downsized," literally and are addicted to the smell of dry erase markers.moreless
  • Think Tank

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 20 - 3/31/99

    Stardate: Unknown
    Voyager
    is ambushed by a race known as the Hazari with no way of escape. Soon, an alien "Think Tank" arrives with an answer to the ship's problem and all they ask in return is Seven of Nine.

    moreless
  • The Clip Show (1) (a.k.a. The Chronicle (1))

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 21 - 5/14/98

    Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to a movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories from the show. Featuring relationships (getting in & out), etc.

    moreless
  • The Finale (1)

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 23 - 5/14/98

    The new president of NBC calls a meeting with Jerry and George and offers them a series based on the pilot "Jerry". On their way to a celebratory trip to Paris, NBC jet needs to make an emergency landing in Latham, Massachusetts. While there, the gang stands idly by during a carjacking and is arrested on a new "Good Samaritan Law".moreless
  • The Puerto Rican Day

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 20 - 5/7/98

    The gang drive from a bad Mets game when they get caught in traffic due to the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade, they go their four ways and encounter odd happenings; Jerry begins a rivalry with a man in a Maroon Golf Car, George sneaks into a cinema in the hopes of yelling out a one-liner during a climatic moment and Kramer pretends to be a tenant in an apartment to use the bathroom. Elaine tries to escape the madness by several means but fails. In the end; Jerry's car is trashed when Kramer burns the Puerto Rican Flag by accident and the gang walks home.moreless
  • The Maid

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 19 - 4/30/98

    Jerry hires a maid for his apartment, but ends up paying her for more than just cleaning. When Kramer's girlfriend moves downtown, he must deal with the difficulties of a "long distance" relationship. Elaine can't seem to catch a break when it comes to her phone number. Meanwhile, George is hoping to earn himself a catchy new nickname.moreless
  • The Frogger

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 18 - 4/23/98

    George discovers that he still has the high score on the Frogger machine in a pizza place he and Jerry used to go to in high school. Jerry goes out with a friend of Elaine's, but when he wants to break up with her, news of a serial killer in the area makes him reconsider. Meanwhile, Elaine is overwhelmed by how frequently there is an occasion to eat cake at work. When she finally refuses to partake, she ends up eating something that she shouldn't - for a variety of reasons.moreless
  • The Bookstore

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 17 - 4/9/98

    Jerry is disturbed when spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a book into a bookstore's bathroom, and is outraged when they force him to buy it. Kramer and Newman plan to bring rickshaws to New York. Meanwhile, Elaine embarrasses herself again at the annual Peterman party - this time by making out with a stranger.moreless
  • The Burning

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 16 - 3/19/98

    George devises a new plan to end every conversation on a "high note" and "leave them wanting more". Kramer and Mickey take jobs acting out diseases for medical students. Elaine discovers that Puddy is religious, and becomes angry when she learns he doesn't care about her soul. Meanwhile, Jerry is intrigued when he learns that his current girlfriend has a secret "tractor story" she hasn't told him.moreless
  • The Wizard

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 15 - 2/26/98

    Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first." Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see NOTE:). When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but Kramer says not to worry, Bob Saccamando's father lives down here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.moreless
  • The Strongbox

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 14 - 2/5/98

    Due to recent robberies in the building, Jerry refuses to let a stranger in the front door, but things get awkward when he learns that the man is his neighbour. Kramer buys a strongbox in order to safeguard his valuables, but Jerry can't help but keep finding the keys. Elaine starts dating a mysterious man who she suspects is either married or a superhero. Meanwhile, despite his numerous attempts, George's current girlfriend refuses to let him break up with her.moreless
  • The Cartoon

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 13 - 1/29/98

    Elaine is obsessed with a cartoon in the New Yorker and is determined to prove that it doesn't make sense. George finds himself in "weird trouble" when he realizes that his latest girlfriend looks very similar to Jerry. Jerry's comments about how bad of an actress someone is causes him to be the subject of her entire one-woman show. Meanwhile, when Kramer says more than he should too many times, he decides never to speak again.moreless
  • The Reverse Peephole

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 12 - 1/15/98

    Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.moreless
  • The Dealership

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 11 - 1/8/98

    Elaine's relationship problems with David Puddy could influence Jerry's ability to get an insider deal on a new car. While waiting for Jerry, George has a series of misadventures trying to get a snack. Meanwhile, Kramer takes a test drive, and attempts to see just how far the car can run with the gas gauge on empty.moreless
  • The Strike

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 10 - 12/18/97

    An increase in the minimum wage is enough to finally meet the demands of the striking employees of H&H Bagels, and as such, Kramer announces that after 12 years, he's going back to work. Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party, but when he later tries to date her, she doesn't look nearly as good. Elaine's use of a fake phone number backfires when she loses a card that will entitle her to a free sandwich. George tries to get away with giving away fake donation cards as Christmas gifts at work, and much to his chagrin, his father decides to revive Festivus, a unique holiday he'd invented years earlier.moreless
  • The Apology

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 9 - 12/11/97

    George is obsessed with getting an apology from an acquaintance now working on step nine of Alcoholics Anonymous. Jerry is surprised when his girlfriend spends all her time naked. Elaine is annoyed when a female coworker is turned off by her germs. Kramer has a unique solution when he discovers he's spending too much time in the shower.moreless
  • The Betrayal

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 8 - 11/20/97

    In this unique, "backwards" episode, Jerry, George, and Elaine go to India for Sue Ellen Mishky's wedding. Meanwhile, Kramer stays behind in New York and tries to "out wish" a friend who wants him to drop dead.moreless
  • The Slicer

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 7 - 11/13/97

    Unsatisfied by the quality of commercially cut meats, Kramer buys his own meat slicer, and takes things a bit too far. Elaine can't catch a break, as her neighbor’s alarm clock and cat drive her crazy. Jerry gets annoyed when the dermatologist Elaine set him up with won't stop talking about 'saving lives'. Meanwhile, George's new job is in jeopardy when a photo reminds him of a nasty confrontation he'd had with his new boss years earlier.moreless
  • The Merv Griffin Show

    Full Episode

    S 9 : Ep 6 - 11/6/97

    After Kramer finds the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he begins to treat his entire life like a talk show. Jerry's new girlfriend has a priceless toy collection that she won't let him play with, with leads him to some questionable behavior. George runs over a squirrel with his car, and he's forced to spend time and money on its recovery. Elaine has to find a way to deal with a new co-worker, whose 'sidling' is both annoying and potentially dangerous to her job.moreless
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