Joey: Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
Joey: Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Joey: If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Joey: If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Joey: A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.