John Hodgman: Here is the joke that is absolutely apt, though I once promised I would never make it: "I play one on TV, but I am not a PC." It is true. I am first of all: not a computer, but a human being; and second of all: a Mac user, almost exclusively, since 1984. There was a brief period in the wilderness between 1997 and 2003. Let us not speak of it.