Jon Vitti


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  • Garage Sale

    Full Episode

    S 7 : Ep 19 - 3/24/11

    The office holds a garage sale in the warehouse, where Dwight challenges himself to see what he can get by trading, starting with a thumbtack. Michael decides to ask Holly to marry him.

  • Viewing Party

    Full Episode

    S 7 : Ep 8 - 11/11/10

    Hoping to get Gabe and Michael to be more friendly to one another, Erin organizes a Glee viewing party for the staff at Gabe's. Meanwhile, Andy's jealousy over Erin and Gabe's relationship intensifies.

  • Sleeping with the Enemy

    Full Episode

    S 16 : Ep 3 - 11/21/04

    Lisa has a big butt and her friends at school, Sherri, Terri and Janie let her know about it. Homer explains to her about the Simpson butt, it is something she'll have to learn to live with. Bart comes home with 100 on his test, and now he wants to collect on the party that was promised. Lisa is trying to deal with her weight issue, meanwhile Bart gets his party; with his relatives, Ralph, Martin and Milhouse via speakerphone. It's the worst party ever as far as Bart's concerned. It's made worse when Lisa returns home only to be confronted by her mother wanting her to eat a big slice piece of cake, she runs out of the room crying. Marge is bummed that the kids don't appreciate her anymore. She finds Nelson in the park and spends some quality time with him and when her kids continue to shun her, she adopts Nelson as a surrogate child. Lisa tries diet and exercise to reduce her big bottom. Marge brings Nelson home to do some chores around their home, but Nelson's real mother returns that money that Marge paid her son and then she leaves for Hollywood, leaving her son in Springfield and homeless. Nelson goes to the only place where he can find refuge, the Simpson home. Much to Bart's dismay Marge lets Nelson stay in his room. Late one night Bart finds Nelson singing for the return of his father and Lisa overindulging in a cake (she'd previously been starving herself). Lisa gets help from Nelson to get revenge on Sherri and Terri. When the pair returns to the Simpson home there is a surprise waiting for Nelson; Bart has found his father. Nelson is reunited with his father (and his mother who's returned from Hollywood with an acting job). Lisa still hasn't found a conclusive solution to her weight problem.moreless
  • Simple Simpson

    Full Episode

    S 15 : Ep 19 - 5/2/04

    Homer is intrigued by a commercial that talks about a contest that will allow the winner, the finder of a golden ticket, a trip to "Farmer Billy's Bacon Factory." Homer buys a lot of pork products but is only able to find a silver ticket, which allows him to judge the pig competition at the county fair. When Homer sees an injustice being done to Lisa's entry in the place setting competition, he decides to take action. Remembering Chief Wiggum's warning about felony assault, he disguises himself as "Pie Man" and delivers a pie in the face as revenge. He disappears as quickly as he came, making Springfield wonder if they will ever see him again. When Bart gets ripped off by Comic Book Guy, "Pie Man" delivers some "key lime justice." The police decide that "Pie Man" needs to be stopped and they shoot him when he makes his next appearance. He takes time out from his fleeing to save Marge and then kisses her, even though she tells him she's a married woman. Later at home, the wounded Homer makes a promise to Lisa (who's figured out his disguise) that he will stop his pie avenging. When Mr. Burns goes too far, "Pie Man" makes another appearance, but his escape from the plant is thwarted by his own laziness. Mr. Burns turns him into his personal hit man. Homer finds himself in a dilemma when Mr. Burns wants him to deliver a pie in the face of Lisa's Buddhist hero the Dalai Lama. When he comes clean in front of a crowd, no one believes that he was capable of being the "Pie Man," only his family believes in him.moreless
  • Little Girl in the Big Ten

    Full Episode

    S 13 : Ep 20 - 5/12/02

    Lisa is failing gym. So that she won't fail and lose the Springfield Elementary the only accreditation they have, Principal Skinner gets Lisa a private coach. After seeing a vision of President Kennedy, Lisa is inspired to give gymnastics her best shot. While Bart is spending time with Grandpa he gets bitten by a Chinese mosquito. Lisa finds out that her fellow gymnastics students are actually college age, and rather than be embarrassed by her real age, she lets them think she is college age as well. Bart is diagnosed with "Panda virus" which makes him contagious, so Dr. Hibbert puts him in a plastic bubble for a week. Meanwhile Lisa has started hanging out with college age students at a coffee house listening to Robert Pinsky read his poetry. Bart starts using his plastic bubble to rescue nerds from the bullies. Some of those nerds follow Lisa when they think she is up to something. They find her at college analyzing "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoons and Milhouse exposes her. Embarrassed she leaves and back at home, she gets in trouble for going to college (16 credit hours worth) and her fellow grade school students won't relate with her anymore. She gets advice from Bart on how to win them back, which she does by making a splash on the cake created for Seymour Skinner Day.moreless
  • Weekend at Burnsie's

    Full Episode

    S 13 : Ep 16 - 4/7/02

    Marge plants her own garden and when the crows arrive she puts up a scarecrow. Homer himself is scared by the scarecrow, so he sneaks upon it and destroys it. As a result, the crows look up to him as their leader. The crows hang out with him wherever he goes. The crows eventually overstay their welcome and Homer tries to shoo them away, the respond by attacking him. At the hospital, when Homer asks Dr. Hibbert what can be done for the pain in his eyes Dr. Hibbert prescribes medical marijuana. Homer starts getting legally high. At one point, in his high state of mind, Homer allows Flanders to read the entire bible to him. Flanders is also gets Homer's signature on a petition to get a ban on medical marijuana added to the next election's ballot. Being high at work also does a wonder for his career at the power plant, because when Homer laughs at all of Mr. Burn's jokes he is given a promotion to executive vice-president. Homer finds out about the ban being added to the ballot and a rally is organized in protest. The band Phish appears at the rally, but the attendees "have spaced on the date", they held their rally one day after the election; so medical marijuana has been banned. The medical marijuana is burned. Homer's medical condition was long since cured, Homer promises to never to smoke pot again. Mr. Burns calls Homer into help with his speech. Mr. Burns need to raise $60 million to appease his investors. Homer tries, but Smithers needs the use of Homer's last joint to think any of Mr. Burn's speech is funny. When Mr. Burns appears to dead from drowning in his bathtub, Smithers and Homer turn him into a marionette so that he can still appear before the investors. A dance performance by the strung up Mr. Burns gets his heart started again and he has recovered well enough to learn that the investors were distracted enough to not worry about the $60 million.moreless
  • The Old Man and the Key

    Full Episode

    S 13 : Ep 13 - 3/10/02

    In order to impress Zelda, a new female resident at the retirement castle, Grampa starts driving again. But Grampa runs into trouble with Homer whose car he continually abuses and he develops some enemies in the form of rival gang of retirees at the Kwik-E-Mart.moreless
  • Hank's Choice

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 16 - 4/1/01

    When Bobby's runny nose and constant sneezing turn out to be an allergy to dander, he is given some medication, and Hank is told to get rid of Ladybird. Hank is taken aback, trying to find any way around it, so he builds a luxurious new doghouse. During the 'Grand Opening' of the house, Ladybird refuses to go in. Hank rethinks his options, and sends Bobby out to live in the house. Soon Bobby discovers that he has found the right combination of pills to be able to be around Ladybird, but enjoys living in the dog house so much, he doesn't tell his parents.

  • Hank's Bad Hair Day

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 19 - 4/9/00

    Hank's long time barber goes senile, so he turns to Bill, an army barber, for his haircuts. Bill gives him a great haircut, but it turns out that the bill for an army haircut comes to $900. When Hank protests this waste, the army base shuts down its barber unit, and Bill is out of a job.

  • Rodeo Days

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 12 - 1/16/00

    The rodeo comes to town and after a failed attempt to be a cowboy, Bobby decides to become a rodeo clown, without his family's knowledge.

  • Dog Dale Afternoon

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 20 - 4/13/99

    Dale gets a new mower and becomes very arrogant, which ticks off all his friends. To get back at him they steal his mower and it makes Dale go crazy. During a pest control job in a tower, Bill thinks Dale has gone so crazy he brought a gun, and causes an alarm.

  • Jon Vitti Presents: Return to La Grunta

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 16 - 2/23/99

    Hank gets Luanne a job as a golf course drink girl at the La Grunta Hotel and Resort. In gratitude, Luanne gets Hank a gift certificate to swim with a dolphin. Hank pets the dolphin, and the dolphin becomes aroused and tries to become sexually intimate with him. In return for his silence, the hotel pays him off, and he swears Luanne to secrecy. Luanne gets sexually harassed by a group of the golfers, so she decides to follow Hank's example and not talk about it.

  • Make a Wish

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 7 - 1/15/97

    Larry wants to be on People's Ten Sexiest Men list, even if it means bumping off guest Ben Stiller. Beverly gets stuck taking care of their "One Wish" Foundation child when he comes to meet Larry. Hank distributes his illegally obtained Cuban cigars.moreless
  • Everybody Loves Larry

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 1 - 11/13/96

    Larry, worried about the implications of a permanent guest host, sabotages temporary host Jon Stewart at every turn. Hank buys a less-than-perfect used car from Elvis Costello. David Duchovny's friendliness makes Larry wonder about his sexual orientation.moreless
  • Larry's Sitcom

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 12 - 10/18/95

    Larry accepts a script from Chris Elliott for a new sitcom to be produced under Larry's deal with the network, then gives it to Phil for some "fine tuning." Hank honors his oldest fan.moreless
  • Hank's Sex Tape

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 7 - 8/30/95

    Hank fears for his career after Phil sets a scandalous sex tape circulating among the entertainment community.
  • Jeannie's Visit

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 5 - 8/16/95

    A surprise visit by Larry's ex-wife causes an unusual triangle between her, Larry and Hank. Larry offers a cappuccino machine as a substitute for the daily office run to Starbucks.
  • A Pig-Boy and His Dog

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 13 - 7/20/94

    Eleanor is bored and feeling depressed with her life so he attempts to become an author and write a book. She writes a children's book called "The Fat Little Pig" which Jay learns is modelled after him and does not leave him very pleased. Meanwhile, Jay tries to get along with his new pet dog.moreless
  • Uneasy Rider

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 12 - 7/13/94

    Jay is asked by Duke to use his show to promote a new product, Savvy Indian Chewing Tobacco. Jay doesn't want to promote tobacco so he tears up his contract and quits. He finds a new career in truck driving where he is praised by the other truckers, but starts to realize the importance of his other job.moreless
  • A Day at the Races and a Night at the Opera

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 11 - 7/6/94

    After Marty fails to win an event at his school field day, he is feeling very low so Jay tries to improve his self-confidence by getting him interested in playing guitar and putting him in the school talent show. Meanwhile, Them Magazine, a parody of Time Magazine, names Jay "The Wittiest Man Alive" so Duke offers to pay everyone who doesn't laugh at Jay's show $100 which doesn't go over very well.

  • Dr. Jay

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 10 - 6/29/94

    Jay's boss, Duke, has just made a new invention, "PHILLIPSVISION" which alters movies to make them more likeable. Jay is disgusted with Duke's invention, but when Duke is discovered to have a fatal disease, Jay must find a cure for Duke's ailment.moreless
  • L.A. Jay

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 9 - 6/22/94

    Jay is offered to write the screenplay for a new movie, "Ghostchasers III" so he takes a break from his show to go to L.A. to write the new movie and experience Hollywood life but the movie producer isn't satisfied with Jay's script.

  • Marathon Mensch

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 6/8/94

    When the studio catches fire during Jay's show, he collapses and must be rescued from the fire by Doris. When the news reports Jay's being rescued, he gets a reputation as being a wimp so he tries to prove his manliness by running in the "New York Marathon" which tends to be more tiresome than it seems.
  • Every Doris Has Her Day

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 6/1/94

    Jay is given two tickets to a new play based on The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He tries to find a date but no woman will go with him so he goes with Doris instead. Surprisingly, Jay and Doris have a good time and their relationship eventually blossoms. One day, Doris recalls she has a son she put up for adoption. Jay mentions he is adopted and both start to think they are biological mother and son and must find more evidence.moreless
  • Eyes on the Prize

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 6 - 3/2/94

    Jay celebrates his 1,000th episode, but the episode is less than successful. Ratings get worse so Jay seeks image consultant, Adolph Hitmaker, for advice. The advice is unsuccessful and Jay is fired. Jay gets a new job on a show which teaches English for cab drivers but Jay is unhappy so he decides to win himself another Pulitzer Prize.moreless
  • Miserable

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 4 - 2/16/94

    Jay, noticing everyone in New York has a fiancee except him, begins to feel unloved. Things change when he goes to review the movie, "Indecent Proposal II" and falls in love with the projectionist screening the movie. They arrange a date at her house where she is revealed to have an obsession with Jay to the point where she kidnaps him and ties him to a bed holding him hostage.moreless
  • Dial M, For Mother

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 2/16/94

    Jay is considered to be one of the most unpopular men on Earth ranking even worse than Adolph Hitler, so Duke attempts to spruce up the show to get more people interested. When this doesn't work, Jay decides to soften his image by going on the Geraldo Rivera Show with his mother but Jay gets an even worse reputation when his mother embarrasses him to the point where he tells her to shut up.moreless
  • Marty's First Date

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 2 - 2/2/94

    Marty invites his dad, Jay, to career day at his school. Marty then develops a crush on a Cuban girl named Carmen. They go on a date, but when Carmen decides to fly back to Cuba, Marty follows her and Jay must get his son back.moreless
  • Pilot

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 1 - 1/26/94

    When Jay has actress, Valerie Fox, on his show, they both fall in love with each other and get involved in a caring relationship. A relationship that may be threatened if Jay pans her performance in her new movie.moreless
  • Cape Feare

    Full Episode

    S 5 : Ep 2 - 10/7/93

    After Bart starts receiving death threats from his nemesis Sideshow Bob, the Simpsons enter the Witness Relocation Program and move to Terror Lake, a "Cape Fear"-esque town several miles away from Springfield.
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