Lisa Gastineau

Lisa has never been imitated but she's frequently been constipated.

Lisa recently finished a distant second to Paris Hilton in voting to select a Poster Girl for Useless People.

Tried to throw a party at her apartment for the Gastineau Girls cast and crew only to have the building manager tell everyone to leave.

When Lisa was delivered her parents reportedly threw rocks at the stork.

Lisa missed her parents' 50th anniversary party in order to attend a fashion show.

Lisa's younger sister died when she was 17.

A wag once said, "Lisa was born ignorant and she's been going downhill ever since."

Lisa claims she was never unfaithful to Mark Gastineau when they were married.

Back in November 2005, Lisa and Brittny flew to Miami Beach to celebrate Brittny's birthday. As usual, Lisa nearly ruined things by making a total kumquat of herself.

Lisa recently said that the one man she'd never date under any circumstance is ESPN commentator Skip Bayless.

Lisa loves bartending for her friends even though most of the drinks she mixes are horrible.

Yet another boyfriend recently kicked Lisa to the curb.

Lisa is becoming insanely jealous of daughter Brittny's relationship with her boyfriend, Rich.

Lisa thinks of herself as a personality not a celebrity. Many others don't give her that much credit.

Lisa's father nicknamed her "Hurricane Lisa."

Lisa claims she makes a great Bloody Mary.

LIsa was recently castigated by PETA for wearing real fur.

Lisa held a tag sale of her old pieces of clothing to raise money for Hurricane Katrina relief. It didn't go as well as she expected raising only $1,800.00

Lisa and Brittny are now doing a Podcast for AOL.

Daughter Brittny says that Lisa is a clothes whore. Er, clothes horse.

Lisa's mother is reportedly battling cancer.

Claims she was a cheerleader at the University of Alabama.

Lisa recently learned how to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Daughter Brittny says that Lisa can't make a decision to save her life.

Lisa recently got evicted from her apartment and moved into a new one in Battery Park.

Lisa has one friend, Monique, with a real job. The rest are moochers and posers like her.

Lisa's daughter, Brittney, moved to Los Angeles during the summer of 2005 to get away from her but Lisa wheedled and cajoled her into moving back to New York.

Lisa says she stays busy doing nothing.

Lisa's best subject in high school was the afternoon nap.

Lisa was at one time in the summer of 2005 dating metrosexual trumpet player Chris Botti whom she stole away from Katie Couric according to some tabloid reports.

Before her reality series began airing, Lisa used to tell everyone that she and Brittney were sisters when they went out nightclubbing together.

Lisa was the spokesmodel for Guess jeans for a brief period of time in the 80's.

Her maiden name is Lisa D'Amico.

There's absolutely no truth to the rumor that Lisa once slept with Chicago mob boss Frank Nitti. Nitti died in 1943. Lisa isn't THAT old.

LIsa claims she can afford her expensive lifestyle because she made "wise investments."

Her favorite color is purple.

Lisa has a pet Chihuahua named Harry.

According to one report Lisa met John Gotti when she was working as a Mob call girl for one of his vice rings. This has not been confirmed though.

Lisa claims she was only 19 years old when she married Mark Gastineau.

An acquaintance of Lisa's once quipped that she has the I.Q. of a grapefruit.

Lisa's divorce from Mark Gastineau was finalized in 1991.

Lisa claims to have dated rock star Billy Idol.

Lisa claims to have dated Sylvester Stallone.

Lisa has the same bra size as daughter Brittney.

The doorman on the first season of Lisa's reality series, Gastineau Girls, was really an actor.

Originally wanted to have a career in sports broadcasting.

Lisa and mob lover John Gotti planned to celebrate her 30th birthday at Frank Sinatra's gala bash for his 75th birthday but on that night Gotti was arrested for what would turn out to be the final time in his long career of crime.

Victoria Gotti, daughter of Lisa's ex-lover, John Gotti, refused to appear with Lisa at a charity function sponsored by Allure magazine.

Reality show Gastineau Girls will be starting a second season on E! in December of 2005.

Refuses to reveal her true age but sources list her birthdate as December 11, 1959.

Appeared briefly on Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive when she sent a video of encouragement to daughter Brittney.

Attended the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa for a time.

Let her mother raise daughter Brittney while she partied and slept around for years.

Ex-husband Mark Gastineau dumped her for actress Brigitte Nielsen.