Lisa Riley

Lisa Riley


6/13/1976, Burnley, Lancashire, UK

Birth Name


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Born in Burnley, Lancashire, Lisa trained at Oldham Theatre Workshop from the age of nine and was signed up by a Manchester agent three years later. One of her first roles, at Oldham Coliseum, was as the Guide teacher in Worzel Gummidge. 'At 15,' she says, 'I was…more


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  • Just how annoying is Lisa Riley? A rant based on the human tragedy that is Lisa Riley.

    Sadly, some ITV producer somewhere decided that the bloated mass of Lisa Riley constituted acceptable quality for public broadcasting. Then the law must of changed to allow sea-mammals to appear on TV.

    Not one episode of Emmerdale went by in those six years where the cowprinted beast rolled around on screen, scaring children, embarassing herself, vexating viewers and degrading the quality of a good soap and respectable actors.

    The acting was mediocre -nothing beyond any commonplace acting school- but the loud, irritating pile of tastelessness continued to turn Emmerdale into something not unlike a circus or freak show.

    Sometime overlapping this, she enveloped poor Jeremy Beadle with her gelatinous face and started horrifying audiences at You\\\'ve been framed. The sight of that mooing, dopey mess bouncing around like a walrus on prozac ought to have pushed the cetificate up to at least a 15. It turned an acceptable show into what can only be regarded as erotic programming for chubby chasers.

    Rumouredly, she no longer has a major part on TV because she ran (or at least, waddled) off with a married man. Perhaps a lens that can fit all of her on hasn\\\'t been developed yet.

    Even so, let\\\'s pray that she never molests our screens ever again.