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Mark Twain: I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Mark Twain: Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
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Mark Twain: Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
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Mark Twain: Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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Mark Twain: To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
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Mark Twain: To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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Mark Twain: To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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Mark Twain: Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
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Mark Twain: Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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Mark Twain: There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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Mark Twain: There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
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Mark Twain: There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Mark Twain: There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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Mark Twain: There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
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Mark Twain: There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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Mark Twain: There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
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Mark Twain: The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
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Mark Twain: The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
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Mark Twain: The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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Mark Twain: The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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Mark Twain: The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
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Mark Twain: The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
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Mark Twain: The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
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Mark Twain: The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
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Mark Twain: The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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Mark Twain: The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
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Mark Twain: The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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Mark Twain: The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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Mark Twain: The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
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Mark Twain: The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
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Mark Twain: The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
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Mark Twain: The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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Mark Twain: The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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Mark Twain: Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
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Mark Twain: Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
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Mark Twain: Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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Mark Twain: Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
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Mark Twain: Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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Mark Twain: Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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Mark Twain: Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
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Mark TwainProphesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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Mark Twain: Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
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Mark Twain: Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Mark Twain: Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
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Mark Twain: One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Mark Twain: Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Mark Twain: Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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Mark Twain: Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
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Mark Twain: No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
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Mark Twain: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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Mark Twain: Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
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Mark Twain: Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Mark Twain: My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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Mark Twain: My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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Mark Twain: Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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Mark Twain: Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Mark Twain: Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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Mark Twain: Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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Mark Twain: Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Mark Twain: Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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Mark Twain: Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
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Mark Twain:Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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Mark Twain: Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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Mark Twain: Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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Mark Twain: Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
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Mark Twain: Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
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Mark Twain: Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Mark Twain: Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
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Mark Twain: Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Mark Twain: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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Mark Twain: It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
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Mark Twain: It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Mark Twain: It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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Mark Twain: It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
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Mark Twain: It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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Mark Twain: It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
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Mark Twain: It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
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Mark Twain: It is easier to stay out than get out.
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Mark Twain: It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Mark Twain: It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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Mark Twain: It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
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Mark Twain: It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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Mark Twain: It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
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Mark Twain: It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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Mark Twain: In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Mark Twain: In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Mark Twain: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
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Mark Twain: If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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Mark Twain: If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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Mark Twain: Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
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Mark Twain: I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
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Mark Twain: I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
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Mark Twain: I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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Mark Twain: I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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Mark Twain: I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
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Mark Twain: I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
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Mark Twain: I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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Mark Twain: I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
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Mark Twain: I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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Mark Twain: I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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Mark Twain:I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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Mark Twain: I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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Mark Twain: Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Mark Twain: Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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Mark Twain: He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
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Mark Twain: He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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Mark Twain: Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Mark Twain: Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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Mark Twain: Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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Mark Twain: Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Mark Twain: Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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Mark Twain: Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Mark Twain: Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
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Mark Twain: God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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Mark Twain: Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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Mark Twain: Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
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Mark Twain: Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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Mark Twain: George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
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Mark Twain: Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.
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Mark Twain: Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
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Mark Twain: Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
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Mark Twain: Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
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Mark Twain: Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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Mark Twain: Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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Mark Twain: Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
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Mark Twain: Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Mark Twain: Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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Mark Twain: Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
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Mark Twain: Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
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Mark Twain: Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Mark Twain: Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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Mark Twain: Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Mark Twain: Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Mark Twain: Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
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Mark Twain: Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
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Mark Twain: Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Mark Twain: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Mark Twain: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Mark Twain: Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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Mark Twain: Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
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Mark Twain: Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Mark Twain: Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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Mark Twain: 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Mark Twain: Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
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Mark Twain: Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Mark Twain: By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
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Mark Twain: Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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Mark Twain: Better a broken promise than none at all.
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Mark Twain: Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
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Mark Twain: Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Mark Twain: Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Mark Twain: Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Mark Twain: Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Mark Twain: All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
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Mark Twain: All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Mark Twain: All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Mark Twain: Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Mark Twain: Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Mark Twain: Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Mark Twain: Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Mark Twain: Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Mark Twain: A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Mark Twain: A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Mark Twain: A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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Mark Twain: A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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Mark Twain: A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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Mark Twain: A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Mark Twain: A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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Mark Twain: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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Mark Twain: A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.