Maura Tierney

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    • Maura: I cry a lot when I try to quit smoking. It's horrible. At work nobody knows how to deal with me. They'll be like "Action!", I start weeping... it's hard. (The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson; May 14, 2008)

    • Maura Tierney: (on getting the role of Pat McBeth in "Scotland, Pa.", directed by her husband) My line is that I not only had to sleep with the director, I had to sleep with him for 10 years. That's the longest casting-couch session ever. (SFGate, February 10, 2002)

    • Maura Tierney: I mean, I'm always wary about saying there's no great roles for women. I guess it's true and it's not true. It is the marketplace. Which is a little bit sad, in terms of what studios decide people will think is funny. I think the decisions about what entertains people are made before they know what entertains people. Now it seems really, really about the bottom line. But there is also new media! And it's easier than ever to make a movie now... If I'm frustrated, I should write a movie or shoot a movie. And 25 years ago you couldn't. (Los Angeles Times; March 2, 2008)

    • Maura Tierney: I prefer living in New York over Los Angeles, or for that matter, any other city I've visited.

    • Maura Tierney: Winner! It says winner. I'm a winner. Good to know... it's in print. ("Tournament 2 Championship Game", Celebrity Poker Showdown, Bravo)

    • Maura Tierney: (on the expectation that actresses must look good) It's part of the culture, it's part of the game, because the business is about selling. It's about perception, and if you can sell the perception, you can do well just based on how you're perceived. Talent sometimes isn't in that equation. Unfortunately, young actors learn this all too quickly.

    • Maura Tierney: Five years on the set of NewsRadio with Andy Dick was like ten years trapped in a bamboo cage eating my own poop. (The Andy Dick Show)

    • Maura Tierney: (about how her and Billy Morrissette got together) It was during an earthquake. All the lights went out and we got tossed together and that's when we finally got passionate. It took a force of nature to get our romance going. (Late Night with Conan O'Brien)

    • Maura Tierney: So here's my "World View": There seems to be a Starbucks just about everywhere! (from Maura's essay "Rudy Giuliani: A Facist? You Be The Judge," Flaunt magazine, Spring 2001)

    • Maura Tierney: I diagnosed my husband's recent appendix attack. At first, he didn't believe me. He was having pain in his lower abdomen and felt nauseous. He also had a fever which I said was suspicious. I even did a stomach press check and I knew. Still, I got out my medical textbook they gave me on ER and said, "Let's go to the real doc." He said, "It's just the flu." Of course, they admitted him and took out his appendix. Now he's like, "Get over yourself. You're still not a real doctor."

    • Maura Tierney: I have so many insecurities they fight for prominence. (Emmy, 2001)

    • Maura Tierney: But my husband, I guess, happened to view me as the perfect manipulative, scheming, murderous bitch. (The View)

    • Maura Tierney: I don't think there's anything particularly innocent about me. (Newsweek)

    • Maura Tierney: I am not one of those crazy dog people. Except I think I might be, but I say I'm not. (The Rosie O'Donnell Show)

    • Maura Tierney: (about her husband (at the time) Billy's appendicitis) But in all fairness to him, I wanted him to be better in a few days after having this horrible surgery. I was like, 'What are you still doing on the couch?' I don't have much patience with sick people. (Women's Health, November/December 2005)

    • Maura Tierney: I had a subconscious wish, I think, to be fired from Growing Pains. And I was, then, fired from Growing Pains. (The View; May 11, 2002)

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