Ron White

Follow

Ron White Trivia

FILTER BY TYPE

  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ron White: (when asked who influenced him to get into the entertainment business) Who influenced me to get into comedy? That's kind of a weird question. I was influenced by a lot of comedians. I am a huge comedy fan and still have comedy CDs that are current and old. So, who influenced me? Pryor, Cosby, Kinison, Steve Martin, Cheech & Chong, Andy Griffith, Bob Newhart, Bill Hicks. I think if you listen to a lot of comedy, they all influence you. I don't emulate anybody, but I'm sure I'm influenced by everybody.

    • Ron White: (when asked if he's every met any country singer who was funny enough to do comedy) Absolutely none of them could do comedy. It's a very difficult thing to do. I mean, it's not difficult for me to do, and it's not difficult for most good comics to do, but it's impossible to learn. Some of them may be good storytellers, and that's an interesting thing. And I could never ever even learn to do what they do. I can't sing at all or play any instrument.

    • Ron White: (When asked if he remembered the first time he made someone laugh) I remember the first time I ever made somebody laugh. I was like 4 years old, and I told a knock-knock joke that I didn't get -- but it killed. I mean, it brought the living room down. I'm sure, at that age, all I knew was they laughed, and it was fun to make people laugh. Now, the first time I ever got a big laugh in public, I was at a theater watching The Blue Lagoon, which was a movie with Brooke Shields and some blonde good-looking kid. There's a scene where they're laying together, they're about to screw for the first time. And he goes, "I feel something funny down there," and she goes "Me, too." And I said, "Me, too!" and got a big laugh in the theater. That was the first time I ever got a huge laugh in public out of just pure timing. And then the rest is history.

    • Ron White: (When asked who influenced him to get into comedy) That's kind of a weird question. I was influenced by a lot of comedians. I am a huge comedy fan and still have comedy CDs that are current and old. So, who influenced me? Pryor, Cosby, Kinison, Steve Martin, Cheech & Chong, Andy Griffith, Bob Newhart, Bill Hicks. I think if you listen to a lot of comedy, they all influence you. I don't emulate anybody, but I'm sure I'm influenced by everybody.

    • Ron White: (When asked if he inherited his quick wit) Was that a question somebody wrote? "Did you inherit your quick wit?" How do they even know I have one? I'd have to say, if I have one, I did not inherit it. I don't know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn't have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.

    • Ron White: Anybody that wasn't on the list before I got wealthy, they ain't on the list now. People do come out of the old woodwork, but I don't make contact with them.

    • Ron White: (about being asked if he writes his own stuff) Every artist has some level of collaboration. I don't care who they are. As it turns out for most comedians, their friends are comedians. So if somebody says they write everything they do onstage, that's usually a lie. Because if I'm talking to somebody on the phone and they go, "Oh, I would have said it like this," or if they go, "Here's a tag for that," or if you're sitting around a condo, that's where stuff gets written. No, I don't write all my own stuff, but the majority of it.

    • Ron White: (referring to how his wife feels about his jokes about her) She pays more attention to the income, and you can forgive a lot when you see what it generates. No, she doesn't have a big problem with it. She is not a big fan of all the female fans, but the show she doesn't have a problem with.

    • Ron White: I want to start by asking a question, because I don't know the answer to it. Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 24 inch color screen T.V.

    • Ron White: When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drainage purposes. There was not a lot trouble to get into in that ditch. It was ditch activities like catching crawdads and minnows. When I was older, I got into all the trouble that you could possibly get into, because I lived in Houston at that time, so it wasn't a small town. But when I lived in Fritch, I got in no trouble at all.

    • Ron White: I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gives them vodka and have a party.

    • Ron White: I believe, I'll have a Scotch. Oh wait, I already got one!

    • Ron White: Some friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club, and I didn't... want to. 'Cause, back me up on this, fellas: once you've seen one woman naked, you... wanna see the rest of 'em naked.

    • Ron White: I've never told anybody this story, ever, of where that name really came from. It wasn't just something I thought up one day. I was in the Navy, and we were having a family day on our ship where you could bring your spouse aboard and there was a picnic and of course — I didn't have anybody, so I was on watch. So this guy Hoskins was supposed to relieve me of my post, and I yelled down to him, "Hey Hoskins get up here and relieve me before somebody eats all that Tater Salad." So he was the first to start calling me Tater Salad. I don't know why I've never told that story before. It's kind of cute.

    • Ron White: I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

    • Ron White: (talking to his cousin) The next time you have a thought, let it go.

    • Ron White: I believe that if you're a convicted sex offender in this country, when you get out of prison, you should have to put a sign in your yard or on your door that says you're a convicted sex offender because I don't care about you're rights anymore. And I'd also like to know where to get one of those signs because I'd like to keep some kids out of my yard.

    • Ron White: No you can't sir, stop beggin' for booze.

    • Ron White: Here's the Ron White heightened state of awareness system. It only has two heightened states of awareness. Go find a helmet. Put on the damn helmet.

More
Less