Séan McGinley

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  • Kanye West Confirms He's Working On New Solo Child

    Full Episode

    S 201310 : Ep 1010 - 10/10/13

    The controversial mega-star has hinted that his upcoming newborn will be stripped down, experimental, and deeply personal.
  • A Recap Of This Week's Royal Baby Coverage

    Full Episode

    S 201307 : Ep 0726 - 7/26/13

    The Royal baby speaks his first words, an unambitious loser with a happy, fulfilling life still lives in his hometown, and a pool owner has a bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow.moreless
  • U.S. Border Patrol Increases Staff By Hiring Cheap Immigrant Labor

    Full Episode

    S 201307 : Ep 0712 - 7/12/13

    Red Roof Inn announces its new Suicidal Suite, the FBI can’t bring themselves to bust a guy torrenting every season of ‘Picket Fences,’ and zoo visitors watch the mating rituals of the ice cream shop staff.moreless
  • Pentagon Leaders Confirm U.S. Military Sexual Assaults Still Best In World

    Full Episode

    S 201306 : Ep 0607 - 6/7/13

    Taylor Swift enters an alternate universe to date a body building George Harrison, a study finds that 83 percent of gamblers quit right before they would have hit the big one, and an Asian guy has a separate group of Asian friends.moreless
  • Scientists Discover 90 Percent Of Earth's Atmosphere Made From Thoughts, Prayers

    Full Episode

    S 201305 : Ep 0503 - 5/3/13

    UMass Dartmouth is beginning to regret offering a course in Applied Domestic Terrorism, a social media rockstar makes $28,000 a year, and Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace comes out as a stupid asshole.moreless
  • All Of Nation's Living Presidents Gather To Lie About Bush Presidency

    Full Episode

    S 201304 : Ep 0426 - 4/26/13

    A study finds that wolf attacks are still the leading cause of death in America, a man says 'fuck it' and eats lunch and 10:58 a.m., and Dzhokar Tsarnaev posts bail.
  • Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It's Fucking ParisA

    Full Episode

    S 201304 : Ep 0411 - 4/11/13

    According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a young man and woman seated on a bench at the bus stop are currently making out like it’s fucking Paris or something.moreless
  • Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories

    Full Episode

    S 201304 : Ep 0404 - 4/4/13

    The bestselling author of “The Spooky Truth” series wants to teach kids that pulling back the curtain on what the government doesn’t want us to know can be fun!
  • Paul Ryan's Unsettling Budget Plan Reveals He Cuts His Own Hair

    Full Episode

    S 201303 : Ep 0318 - 3/18/13

    Congressman Ryan is defending his extreme budget plan, which includes proposals that Americans make their own toothpaste and cut their own hair, just like he does.
  • Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked

    Full Episode

    S 201303 : Ep 0307 - 3/7/13

    The fast-food chain has rolled out a suspicious new promotion selling five hamburgers for zero dollars.
  • Winter Storm Rocky Expected To Hit Kevin Hodges Of Joliet, IL Hardest After The Year He's Had

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0226 - 2/26/13

    Meteorologists say the blizzard pummeling the Midwest is expected to devastate Illinois resident Kevin Hodges given everything he's been going through lately.
  • Nation's 24 Middle Class Citizens Glad To Hear Obama Looking Out For Them

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0215 - 2/15/13

    A new pair of Sony nosebuds lets users blast different smells into their nostrils, a devoted abuser stops by his girlfriend's office to deliver a surprise threat, and a man never expected sex with a prostitute would be so emotionally fulfilling.moreless
  • Study Reveals Conditions In Women's Prisons Deplorably Unsexy

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0215 - 2/15/13

    A disturbing new study reveals that women's prisons are not the hotbeds of sexy discipline and kittenish exploration they should be.
  • Devoted Abuser Stops By Girlfriend's Office To Deliver Surprise ThreatA

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0214 - 2/14/13

    Claiming that he just wanted to do something malicious to her, committed abuser Matthew Strachan, 29, surprised his girlfriend at her office Thursday with an unexpected threat, workplace sources confirmed.
  • PR Firm Advises U.S. To Cut Ties With Alabama

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0206 - 2/6/13

    Emphasizing the importance of protecting the nation’s global image, marketers at the public relations firm Hill & Knowlton Strategies, Inc.
  • Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces Of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0205 - 2/5/13

    A report released Monday by the Food and Drug Administration stated that the majority of peanut butter sold in the United States contains trace amounts of rat feces, but that, hey, life can be weird like that sometimes and you’ve just got to take it...moreless
  • New Law Would Require Immigrants To Bring Along 2 Or 3 Ideas For Fixing U.S. Economy

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0201 - 2/1/13

    The Department of the Interior is bilked out of $18 million by a con-gopher, a paranoid Syrian man thinks the government is out to get him, and a teenage girl is blossoming into a beautiful object.moreless
  • Smitten Man Can't Believe Woman He's On Date With Also Into The Beatles

    Full Episode

    S 201302 : Ep 0201 - 2/1/13

    In an astonishing coincidence of aligning personal interests, local 29-year-old Brad Holdtman reported last night that his 28-year-old blind date Pauline Geary is, just like him, a fan of the rock band the Beatles.moreless
  • Roommate Food Pyramid Updated To Include 4 Servings Of Someone Else's Grains, Cereals Per DayA

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0123 - 1/23/13

    The U.S. Department of Agriculture rolled out changes to its Roommate Food Pyramid for the first time in years Wednesday, revising the dietary guidelines to include four servings of someone else’s grains and cereals per day.moreless
  • Hoaxed Linebacker Manti Te'o Now Dating 'Scarlett Johansson's Head On Jenny McCarthy's Body'

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0123 - 1/23/13

    After falling for an Internet romance hoax, linebacker Manti Te'o has finally found love with an amazing women who looks like two famous actresses taped together.
  • College Freshman's Roommate Has Had Excuse To Go Home Every Weekend Since August

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0117 - 1/17/13

    Citing various family emergencies, last-minute weddings, and impromptu hometown gatherings, the roommate of Indiana University freshman Lawrence Plotnick has had an excuse to go home every weekend this academic year, according to campus reports.moreless
  • U.S. High School Students Falling Behind China, Many Animals In Basic Object Permanence

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0114 - 1/14/13

    A new study finds that many American students do not realize that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen or heard.
  • Mother Who Forgot To Pay 29-Year-Old Son's Phone Bill Reminded To Really Be Careful About That

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0108 - 1/8/13

    After discovering his mother had failed to pay his phone bill from last month, local resident Cormac Flannigan, 29, reminded her Tuesday to “try to be more careful” and “make a point of remembering to do that going forward,” family...moreless
  • Psychiatrists Warn Nation's Used Car Salesmen Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away

    Full Episode

    S 201301 : Ep 0107 - 1/7/13

    The American Psychiatric Association is warning that with prices this low, the nation's used car salesmen must be out of their minds.
  • SNL Hosting Gig Caps Breakout Year For Navy's SEAL Team Six

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1220 - 12/20/12

    As part of a promotional push for "Zero Dark Thirty", the elite squad of tactical commandos showed off their comedy chops during a ratings-bursting episode of Saturday Night Live.
  • Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1215 - 12/15/12

    Fans of the Denny's Hobbit-themed menu can't wait to see their favorite breakfast items on the big screen.
  • McDonald's Prints Calorie Count Right Onto Meat

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1214 - 12/14/12

    A rare pornagraphic movie is shot at the Vatican for the first time since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV,' Taylor Swift is apparently now dating 'Garfield' creator Jim Davis, and Mumford and Sons can't believe they all got each other mandolins for Christmas.moreless
  • Rare Pornographic Movie Shot At Vatican For First Time Since 1982's 'Pope Fisters IV'

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1213 - 12/13/12

    Sources confirmed a new hardcore pornographic movie began shooting at the Sistine Chapel on Sunday, marking the first time the seat of the Roman Catholic Church has hosted the filming of a sexually explicit adult feature since 1982’s Pope Fisters IV...moreless
  • CVS Poised To Be Nation's Top Seller Of Shitty Office Party Gifts For Your Coworkers

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1210 - 12/10/12

    The pharmacy chain is hoping to become America's top retailer of crap that costs $20 and is right around the corner from your office.
  • Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists

    Full Episode

    S 201212 : Ep 1205 - 12/5/12

    Viewers who have never seen nor heard of the concept of pornography provided a massive ratings bump for this year's lingerie fashion show.
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