Spike Milligan

Roald Dahl wanted Spike Milligan to play the lead role in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.

Milligan starred in a radio comedy show called "The Goon Show", along with Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers.

Professor Richard Wiseman has identified Milligan as the writer of the world's funniest joke as decided by the Laughlab project.

Spike: Myfather had a profound influence on me--he was a lunatic.

Spike: Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Spike: Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Spike: In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Spike: I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Spike: I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Spike: I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Spike: I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Spike: I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Spike: I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike: How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike: Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum.

Spike: Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Spike: Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Spike: And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Spike: All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.