Writer:	Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld
Director:	Art Wolff
Star:	Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer),  Jerry Seinfeld (Himself),  Jason Alexander (George Louis Costanza),  Lee Garlington (Claire)
Recurring Role:	Larry David ()
Guest Star:	Pamela Brull (Laura)

Jason Alexander will be receiving the "And" credit. (edit) This episode's title was originally known as "Good News, Bad News." (edit) The show was supposed to be an hour-and-a-half documentary to fill in for SNL about how a comedian gets his material and would be called "Stand-Up". Jerry never actually wanted a sitcom but he got one and was then called "The Seinfeld Chronicles" then to just "Seinfeld". (edit) Not only did Julia Louis Dreyfus not appear in this pilot episode, but she was unaware that it existed. In fact, up until the time of the DVD release, she had never seen it. (edit) The episode title is "The Seinfeld Chronicles" on the Season 1&2 DVD. (edit)

Jerry: Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end. (edit) Jerry: I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I… I… I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little… everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it…? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better. (edit) George: Ho ho ho, "Had to"? "Had to come in"?
Jerry: Yeah, but…
George: "Had to come in" and "maybe we'll get together"? "Had to" and "Maybe"?
Jerry: Yeah!
George: No…no…no, I hate to tell you this: you're not gonna see this woman. (edit) George: Listen, your stuff has to be done by know, why don't you just see if it's dried?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working, it, it knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're gonna over dry it.
Jerry: You, you can't over dry.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same as you can't over wet. You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead: like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you: you're not gonna die again, you're already dead. You can't over die, you can't over dry. (edit) Clair: Trust me George, no one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine. (edit)

Kramer was called "Kessler" because the real Kramer (Kenny Kramer, not Michael Richards) did not want his name to be in the show. After the pilot, Jerry said to Larry that the name had to be Kramer, because it just sounded funnier, so after a lot of work it finally became Kramer.

The coffee shop in which Jerry and George are was not intended to be implied [by viewers] as "Monk's". It has been said that Monk's and Pete's are two totally different shops. That explains why we never see the waitress, Claire, again. (Taken from "Notes About Nothing")

The character of Elaine was not cast as of this episode. After the pilot NBC said to Jerry and Larry that they could make four more episodes, but only if they bring in a female character into the cast. (edit) Notice that when Jerry's door is open in this episode, there is no door or apartment for Kramer across the hall. It's just a wall with a Cuba picture. (edit) Regarding the coffee issue, you might recall that Jerry claims that he doesn't drink coffee in the "Librarian" episode. When Mr. Bookman asks for coffee, Jerry claims that he doesn't have any. (edit) Correction to the microphone wire goof, that cannot be a microphone because if it was he would have a big thing in the back of his pants like they do on talk shows. They use boom mics that go above the actors in tv sitcoms. (edit) A note on the white lab, I don't think that's Jerry's dog because Kramer takes responsibility for it. When it goes into the bathroom, Kramer says, "Ah, he's getting a drink of water," as if it's his or he's watching it for somebody. Plus, Kramer is with the dog when it enters Jerry's apartment. (edit)

This episode does not have any allusions. Add some now!