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Seinfeld: The Abstinence

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George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless. Add a recap »

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Writers:: Steve Koren

Director:: Andy Ackerman

Stars:: Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer); Jerry Seinfeld (Himself); Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine Marie Benes (not in pilot)); Jason Alexander (George Louis Costanza)

Recurring Role:: Lawrence Mandley (Larry the Cook); Phil Morris (Jackie Chiles)

Guest Star:: Fern Fitzgerald (Ms. Wilkie); Noelle Balfour (Waitress); Kyle Gass (Smoker); Judy Kerr (Woman); Alex Trebek (Voice of Himself); Tamara Bick (Louise); Meagen Fay (Mrs. Burns); Debra Jo Rupp (Katie); Brenda Strong (Sue Ellen); Bob Odenkirk (Ben)

When Jerry asks George if he never plans to have sex again, George answers "There was a pretty good chance I was never going to have sex again anyway." But the whole conversation started because in the previous scene, Louise implied that she was more than willing. edit »
A fire drill is a planned runthrough of what to do in case of fire. Why would they have scheduled Jerry to come talk when they had a fire drill scheduled? edit »
One of the Yankee players that George talks to asks if George was "the guy that put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee." The Milwaukee Brewers -- the only professional Milwaukee baseball team -- is a National League team. The Yankees are in the American League. Since interleague play began in June of 1997 (after this episode aired), the Brewers and the Yankees could only have met in the World Series. The last time a Milwaukee team faced the Yankees in the World Series was in 1958.

The Milwaukee Brewers are indeed a National League team, but they were an American League team until November 1997. So if this episode aired in 1996, it would be perfectly feasible for the Yankees to play the Brewers. edit »
When Kramer walks into Jerry's apartment after his and George's conversation about his intellect, the Rubik's cube is on the counter. When the scene cuts away, the cube has the colors orange and yellow facing the camera. When it cuts back, the white side is showing. edit »
When George is explaining how Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter should bat for the Yankees, you can see a microphone come into the top of the frame. edit »

This episode won the 1997 Eddie Award for Best Edited Half-Hour Series for Television. edit »
The working title for this episode was "The Portuguese Waitress." edit »
This is the second time George's personality switch leads to good things for him and bad things for Elaine, Last time was in the Season 5 finale "The Opposite". edit »
Bob Odenkirk, who played Ben in this episode, later went on to play Gil Bang, a retired porn star, in Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiam episode 3, "Porno Gil". edit »

Jerry: (to George) So you're enjoying the not enjoying. edit »
Ben: (to Elaine) I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor. edit »
Jerry: (at his old junior high) I'm getting bumped? You're bumping me from career day? edit »
George: (who will have to abstain from sex) I can do six weeks standing on my head. I'm a sexual camel. edit »
George: Who are you gonna eat to survive?
Jerry: Kramer.
George: So fast? What about me?
Jerry: No.
George: Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump, juicy.
Jerry: Kramer's got more muscle, higher protein content. It's better for you.
George: Well, I would eat you.
Jerry: That's very nice, I guess.
George: I still don't see why you wouldn't eat me. I'm your best friend.
Jerry: Look, if other people are having some, I'll try you.
George: Thank you. edit »

Jackie Chiles: Oh, my vacation was restful, resplendent, magnificent. In fact, next time I'm planning on going to Corfu.

Corfu is a Greek island in the Ionian Sea. The island is steeped in history and it is perennially connected to the history of Greece starting from Greek mythology. edit »
George's sudden burst of intelligence is a nod to the 1996 film "Phenomenon," which had been released the summer prior to this episode. edit »

9.4
00
titiembe
member since: Aug 12, 2006
The Abstinence
The Bottom Line: "Fine example"
I loved this episode! ...Continue »
08/26/07 07:19am | report abuse
8.5
00
scooper549
member since: Mar 29, 2006
The Abstinence
The Bottom Line: "Another great installment"
Wonderful Episode! George and Elaine stop having sex, Kramer opens a smoking lounge, and Jerry has career problems. ...Continue »
06/25/06 11:23am | report abuse