2 Broke Girls Season 2 Episode 6

Caroline: Let's think about this. He's clean and not a drug addict, so he's more my type.
Max: Well, he's got a store full of candy and a penis so he's more my type.

Max: (After catching Caroline masturbating in the bathtub.) I'm sorry, I thought you'd be home feeling bad for yourself, not feeling your bad self!

Max: Alright, kick everybody out, and lets go back to my place.
Andy: Uh, Max, no offense, but I-I'm more into your friend.
Max: Um, Andy no offense, but I'm more into the Candy then the Andy.

Caroline: (After Andy tries to embarrass himself by doing a back flip in the diner.) That is not embarrassing, it was amazing!
Andy: Alright, well come back to my house and watch me masturbate.

Caroline: I finally met an adorable, sweet guy. A guy so sweet, the word 'sweet' is next to his name on actual real estate, and I completely destroy any chance I had with him.
Max: You didn't destroy anything! It's good to let them know right off the bat that you have a gag reflex.
Caroline: Oh! Oh! That's lovely. Happy Valentines Day!