2 Broke Girls Season 2 Episode 15

Oleg: (while watching Caroline stuffing eggs into her bra) Keep it up and we'll finally have the answer to the question: What comes first the chicken or the Oleg?

Caroline: Max you said nothing bad was gonna happen!
Max: Well, I'm not a psychic, and neither is she.

Wiga: (After cursing Max) Laugh buster, nothing in life will go your way, and will live under a dark cloud.
Max: Will this dark cloud merge with the current dark cloud above me or fly along side of it?

Wiga: Come, sit, ruminate on your wishes and dreams.
Max: Well my wish is that you'd give my friend her money back, and my dream is that I'm a backup dancer for Missy Elliot.

Max: (after entering the psychic's shop, and hearing the bell on the door) Interesting, she's a psychic, but she needs a bell to tell her someone's here.

Caroline: Sophie, do you believe in psychics?
Sophie: Oh, no that's all fake. You know I knew a family of gypsies psychics who couldn't even predict that they'd all die in a barn fire.

Caroline: I bought a crystal that protects me from bad juju.
Max: Hey, there's no reason to get anti-Semitic! You spent money on crystal you can't snort? What is wrong with you?