Max and Caroline's Current Total: $4,800.00
Max:" I can't believe you blew $10 on a fortune teller"
Caroline hadn't told Max how much money she'd spent.
Amir: Hey Max, today the day we're gonna get married?
Max: Sure Amir, cause my dream in life is to be detained for four hours on our honeymoon flight.
Amir: Max, you do know I was born in this country, right?
Max: You were born here? How old are you, about Zero Dark Thirty?
Amir: Yea, and you were born in a Wal-Mart, right?
Max: Where do you think the expression "Clean up on aisle 12" comes from?
Oleg: (while watching Caroline stuffing eggs into her bra) Keep it up and we'll finally have the answer to the question: What comes first the chicken or the Oleg?
Caroline: Max you said nothing bad was gonna happen!
Max: Well, I'm not a psychic, and neither is she.
Wiga: (after cursing Max) Laugh buster, nothing in life will go your way, and will live under a dark cloud.
Max: Will this dark cloud merge with the current dark cloud above me or fly along side of it?
Wiga: Come, sit, ruminate on your wishes and dreams.
Max: Well my wish is that you'd give my friend her money back, and my dream is that I'm a backup dancer for Missy Elliot.
Max: (after entering the psychic's shop, and hearing the bell on the door) Interesting, she's a psychic, but she needs a bell to tell her someone's here.
Caroline: Sophie, do you believe in psychics?
Sophie: Oh, no that's all fake. You know I knew a family of gypsies psychics who couldn't even predict that they'd all die in a barn fire.
Caroline: I bought a crystal that protects me from bad juju.
Max: Hey, there's no reason to get anti-Semitic! You spent money on crystal you can't snort? What is wrong with you?
Max: Fortune telling is a scam! You'll never find a man, the moon's in Uranus, no man will ever be in Uranus. I could have told you that the second day I met you!
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: February 4, 2013 on Citytv
United Kingdom: May 9, 2013 on E4/E4 HD
Max: How old are you? About Zero Dark Thirty?
Zero Dark Thirty is a 2012 feature film about the hunt for Osama bin Laden. It is also military time for 12:30 AM.