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Jack: Where are we going?
Eddie: West LA.
Jack: What are we doing?
Eddie: Conversion!
Jack: What do you mean a conversion?
Eddie: Well, today we're turning a government building into a cemetery.
Jack: (laughs) Which building?
Eddie: This branch has been dogging us for years. They call it the LA Counter Terrorist Unit...CTU.
Jack: Good. (looks out window, worried)
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Eddie: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah...hey, what's going on? Makin' friends, Jack?
Jack: Your guy's a moron.
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Mason: I don't have to tell you that.
Tony: Well, I guess I disagree. I mean if you're just trying to get outside the blast radius.
Mason: Who the hell do you think you are? Do you have access to my information?
Tony: No, George, I don't.
Mason: Then keep your mouth shut and do your job!
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Palmer: You're barking up the wrong tree.
Ron Wieland: Well, I don't remember the last time a journalist got a private interview with the President on a few minutes' notice. So my 22 years in the business tells me I'm barking up the right tree.
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Eddie: You broke his damn ankle, Jack.
Jack: He shouldn't have been playing with adults.
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Jane: We were told you were going to be spending this morning fishing. What brought you back to shore so early?
Palmer: Already caught my quota for the day. My own conservation policy is coming back to haunt me! (reporters all laugh)