3-2-1 Contact

For those who could never figure it out, this is what John Moschitta rattled off during the crawl at the end of this episode: "These are the names and functions of everybody who worked on the production of the third season of 3-2-1 Contact. The executive producer and the producers are the people who think up the shows and make sure they get them done the way they thought them up. The director is the person who tells everybody what to do, and the writer is the person who makes up the words like these. The actors and the actresses have to try to remember the words and do things like climb Mt. Rushmore or dive into water, and the production manager makes the deals and tells people 'no.' The associate producer has to keep track of everything that's going on, while the story researchers have to figure out what's going on all over the country, and the field producers have to present something that's going on, even when there isn't anything going on, which there sometimes wasn't. The unit managers hire helicopters to shoot from and to make sure we don't leave anybody behind when we leave a location.

"If it weren't for the camera persons, there wouldn't be anything to look at when you turn on the television set, and if it weren't for the sound persons, there' wouldn't be anything to hear – which sometimes there isn't anyway, but never mind. The animators draw the pictures and make them move in a scientifically-correct manner, and the stock footage producer turns old films into moments of complete hilarity. Scientifically-accurate music is produced by the composer, lyricist, arranger, singers, musicians – the music's so good it's too bad you can't listen to it over and over again.

"Somebody's gotta call the airlines and the hotels and make a hundred reservations, and that's the travel coordinator. The film editors and their assistants and apprentices work long hours in darkrooms to make everything look better than they have any right to look – or at least that's what they tell us. The videotape editors do the same thing, except their rooms are air-conditioned. The post-production supervisors and coordinators are responsible for getting all the films edited and transferred to videotape and ready for broadcast to your house and mine.

"When we shoot in the studio, a whole different group of people start working with us: the art director designs the set, and the set decorator props the set, and the lighting director lights the set so that you can see the set, the actors, their hair, make-up, costumes, and even the actors' faces (some of the time). We need a technical director to keep the whole thing organized, and the script supervisor makes sure we don't lose our scripts or our minds. The production assistants give assistance to the production in too many ways to count – except they're probably counting.

"The Bloodhound Gang is produced with another company, and there's a whole new set of people. There are different producers, writers, directors, production managers, assistant directors, and a whole different cast of actors, and even a new song.

"The content department makes sure we do the science right. They watch over us every step of the way, making us change it whenever we do something wrong, like zero gravity – I mean weightlessness. The research department shows the programs to kids and find out what they understand and tell us if we should change anything so they'll understand it better.

"And finally, we want to thank some of the people, places, and organizations that helped make it possible for us to make more than 50 films we have this season. We would especially like to thank the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, the Harbor Research Foundation and Dr. Kenneth Rinehart, and of course, John Moschitta. That's me."