30 Rock

Liz: Hey, Toofer, can I buy a kid FUBU? Is that a swear word?

Colleen: John Francis Donaghy, how could you? How could you?! Waiting eight minutes to call 911! I can't believe it! Jack: I don't know what you're talking about, mother, and I've gotta get back to work now. Colleen: Exhibit A: your cellphone bill. You made a call to 911 at 8:16 AM. Exhibit B: the watch that my son gave me for Christmas—not the one I wanted, by the way—you had just set it, before it broke, of course when your car rammed into me down in Florida. And it stopped at 8:08. Exhibit C- (She holds up a sign reading "16-8=8") Colleen: Sixteen minus eight - is eight! Numbers, unlike children, don't lie!

Jack: If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd just return Joan Baez's phone calls.

Kenneth: (about Lemon's Christmas lists) I'll take one, Miss Lemon. I love helping people less fortunate than me. James: Where do you find them? Kenneth: There are these Nigerians on the Internet that help me.

Jack: (talking to Colleen on the phone) If you need something, just call down to the doorman. Yes, he does speak English; Jamaican people do speak English.

Liz: There certainly were no hugs around here. Tracy: If all you want is a hug from a black person maybe you should just host The Price Is Right.