-
Liz: OK, guys, I just want to say congratulations on our 50th show!
(everyone cheers)
Liz: That's 50 hours of comedy, over 300 sketches, one unsolved crew death, and an Emmy... Magazine cover story.
-
Jack: Uh, Lemon, I heard a rumor that you went out with one of the consultants last night.
Liz: Well, I had no choice. I had to give him a little taste of the Lemon. And it was not sour, my friend—not sour.
-
Tracy: Jenna, I just want you to know that if we find any human remains in there, I'm gonna throw up all over your face.
-
Jack: This is a very difficult time, Kenneth. I'm gonna be counting on you. You'll do fine so long as you follow my three Ds: Discretion, Docility, and Don't use my bathroom.
-
Jeffrey: (to Liz) Okay, so Mr. Hollster has filed a complaint against you with Human Resources. Specifically, his claim suggests that you tried to barter sex in exchange for professional consideration. In the human resource world, we refer to that as 'being a filthy prostitute'.
-
Jack: I'm sorry. I know this is hard, but there's no way out of it.
Liz: Well, a little heads up—your next meeting might disagree. She's planning to change your mind by hitting... that.
(waves her hand at Jack's groin)
Jack: Oh, no, not again. The last guy tried to take my belt off.
-
Kenneth: Mr. Donaghy, I know you said only interrupt you if was very important, but Tishonda from Time Warner Cable is on the phone, and she's offering three free months of Showtime, but we have to act now!
-
Jack: I'm warning you now that the entertainment division is going to come under some very close scrutiny. The days of your wild Coke parties are over.
Liz: Well, if by "coke" you mean sodas—
Jack: I do. It's... really bad.