30 Rock

Jonathan: Sir, a Mr. Adouche is on the phone? I. M. Adouche. Jack: I am a douche? (winces) Banks!! (picks up phone) What do you want? Devin: Did you say it? Jack: No, I knew right away.

(arguing after Tracy handcuffed Liz to a bookcase) Angie: I cannot believe you made me come down here for this. Now I won't have enough time to shop for Christmas presents and still get my hair did! Tracy: Your hair did? You just got your hair did! You have to get your hair did again? Angie: It needs to be did every week! Liz: Maybe we could "undid" these handcuffs. (they turn to Liz and shout in unison) Tracy: Racist! Angie: Oh, cracker!

Tracy: Lately I realized that I have a hole in my heart, and not the one I got from eating batteries.

Pete: This job is starting to get to me. Lately I've been shoplifting just to feel in control, 'cause no one knows I took the candy bar. No one but Peter.

Jack: There's a lot of history in Studio 4C: "To Catch a Predator", the XFL halftime show, storage for broken copier equipment, and now—Dealbreakers.

(reading the card from Devin's flowers) Liz: "FEMA paid for these because your show's going to be a disaster."

Liz: I'm going to be on TV this week. Dr. Spaceman: Really? I think you mean radio.