Jack: (Tries calling 911 in Florida but Jack is dissatisfied with the phone operator options) Why can't we just cut this state adrift and let it crash into Cuba.
Tracy: Or Pete, but he went to a line producers' convention in Albany. I saw him pack a wig.
Jack: ...Fittingly, [my recently deceased mother] left everything to her live-in nurse, Martha. The house I paid for, the silver, my grandfather's purple heart. It's terrible what alcoholism can do to the body.
Liz: She really didn't leave you anything? That's not very nice.
Jack: I love my mother, Lemon, obviously because of Stockholm syndrome, but she was on her best day a miserable old crow who's only joy came in sharing in her unhappiness for others, even in death.
Liz: That was one of the adoption agencies we're working with and they may have a kid that's perfect for us. He's a three year-old boy from Transylvania - stay with me - his name is ThaCool - here me out - is a hemophiliac with a sleep disorder...
Tracy: (Who has kids) Children change everything. Right now, you can do what you want. But once you have to be on their schedule, watch their cartoons, and touch their poo.
Liz: Tracy, you still do whatever you want.