30 Rock

Jenna: Do you need a sex tape leaked? 'Cause I've got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.

Liz: Excuse me, Mr. 'Wine-er-slav'— Jeffrey Winerslav: It's pronounced, "Weinerslave".

Kenneth: I just don't trust Mr. Hornberger, sir. He has a ridge on the section of the skull associated with deviousness.

Jack: You're dating one of the dancers? Kenneth: Oh, no, sir. I actually haven't spoken to her yet, but I have a long term plan to marry her, and I wanted the company to be aware of my intentions. Jack: I see. I'll be sure to mention that at the next board meeting.

Jenna: I'm prepared to do a nipple slip if you need it.

Jack: Jenna's dead. Pete: I don't feel anything. What's wrong with me? Jack: Oh, no, it's a marketing ploy for her new movie. But it means you won't have her for the show on Friday. And you need to put together some sort of on-air tribute. Pete: We actually already have an obituary reel for Jenna. We put it together after she cheated on that mobster.

Jack: Lemon, you know you're supposed to go home after your pervert seminars.

Jack: Jenna, I need to speak with you. Jenna: Jack, I did not hit that Asian page. I was just swinging my arm, and she walked into me—twice.

Jack: You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie. Jenna, I wanna Tupac you. Jenna: Fine, but I have to pee first! Jack: No. No, no, no, no. Tupac Shakur, the rapper. He sold ten times more albums when he was dead than when he was alive; that's what we're going to do with this movie.

Liz: We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.

Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us? Tracy: I don't need to read it; the whole thing is loosely based on an evening I spent with Isiah Thomas.

Liz: Before I go, could I at least find out what Frank's hat says. Jack: "Constant Craving." Liz: He could do better!

Jenna: Do you need a sex tape released? 'Cause I got a weird one; it's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me. Jack: No, Jenna, I want you on the PR warpath. If there's a red carpet, I want you on it talking up the movie, starting Monday. Jenna: The Kid's Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven-Symoné for one day, but she knows what she did.

Jack: Jenna, Sheinhardt-Universal does not want to release the picture. Jenna: And how will that affect my Oscar chances? Jack: Adversely.

Kenneth: Ms. Lemon, you're not supposed to be here; you're on s-e-x probation.