30 Rock Season 6 Episode 17

Stacy Keach: When did gum get so soft, you sons of bitches?! You know what this country used to chew? Tree bark. Glass. Shotgun shells. The broken swords of our vanquished enemies. That's why I buy Bazooka Joe gum. It's like chewing a mountain that someone shot a freeze ray into.

Liz: It's hard to force a nickname. I tried to get my high school tennis team to call me Ace, but they wanted to call me Shorts Accident. So, we settled on Super Virgin.

Jack: Good God! This doesn't look like the prototype.
Foreman: It looks more like the prototype than most things in this world. (picks nose)
Jack: How could this happen? The one in my office was perfect.
Foreman: We didn't make the prototype; we bought it at West Elm.
Jack: Besides you, whom do I fire for this?
Foreman: I don't know, you? You're the one who insisted on hiring American engineers. All they teach us now is how to build rollercoasters and Survivor challenges.

Liz: Good luck fixing America. I hope success isn't far, far away.
Jack: What about Star Wars do you want to say, Lemon?