30 Rock

Liz: I want to be top dog for once instead of just… dog.

Jenna: A drinking contest? What am I, twelve and at my boyfriend's frat party?

Liz: So this girl, what's her lower back tattoo? A Chinese character that she thinks means "peace", but it really means "I have chlamydia"?

Liz: I wolfed my Teamster sub for you. Floyd: Wait, no, is that a saying?

Jack: I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.

Liz: I'll move to Cleveland when you get that Ikea. Never! Floyd: Oh! Don't you deprive the good people of Cleveland an Ikea! You are vindictive, Liz Lemon!

Floyd: Liz? What are you doing here? Liz: I don't want your car to explode, and I don't want you to go into a coma. And I don't want to stab you in the face with a giant fork. Floyd: What? Liz: Oh, that's not you. I've been threatening a lot of people lately.

Radio Announcer: After last night's freak snowfall, it's 90 and humid. In other global warming news, a tornado hit downtown Detroit, putting out several fires.

Jenna: Did you do that thing I showed you? Liz: No, Jenna. I did not come back from the bathroom and hand him my underwear. Jenna: That's how I met that mobster.

Liz: (to Kenneth) I don't know how, but you're going to get me another sandwich. Or I'm going to cut your face up so bad, you'll have a chin. (turns to everyone) You'll all have chins!

Jonathan: Mr. Donaghy, you're not really going down to 12, are you? Jack: I have to. Of course it's humiliating. Banks is trying to shame me into leaving, but where else am I gonna go? I've been sleeping with the Cindy Crawford of corporations for the last 22 years, what am I supposed to do? Just lie down with some skank like 3M? Johnathan: What about Washington? I'm sure your friends in the Bush administration would... Jack: (Cuts him off) Bush? (laughing) Has it gotten that bad? Good God, I'd rather work for an American car company than to jump on that sinking ship.