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Tracy: Don't want to disappoint my Japanese public, especially Godzilla. I'm just kidding. I know he doesn't care what humans do.
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Tracy: I spent two days making that movie from my home, and what did I get? A million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing.
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C.C.: I should never have listened to a woman who tapes her bra together.
Jack: Lemon!
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Tracy: Okay, enough! How long are we going to talk about this stupid award? We have more important things to worry about. Like where are the French fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me!
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Jack: Liz Lemon, I'd like you to meet a business associate of mine, uh, Laquisha Gutierrez Arafat.
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CC: Jack, I convinced the Sheinhardt Wig plaintiffs to settle.
Jack: That's fantastic news. What did they end up getting?
CC: Five million each.
Jack: Five million each? That's NBA sexual assault money.
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Jenna: How could Tracy not thank me?
Liz: What?
Jenna: I drag myself out of bed at 4:00 in the morning, go home, get dressed, come in here, and he doesn't even mention my name?
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Liz: (discovering Jack's party is four people) Is this everyone?
C.C.: Well, we had a longer invite list, but we thought for the sake of discretion...
Jack: We had to eliminate anybody with any influence or connections or stature, so that pretty much just left you.
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Jack: I'm going to hold a dinner party, and I would like you to come.
Liz: Wow, that's very nice. Thank you, Jack.
Jack: I just want you to be discrete, and try not to dress like a small-town lesbian.
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Patrice: Ooh, Melissa! Your face is on the phone, soccer practice is over, and you need to pick it up!
Liz: Alright, that's a pretty good burn, Patrice.
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Jack: I like when a woman has ambition. It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes.
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Jack: This corporation has a very strict "bros before hos" policy.
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Jack: (about C.C.) We are lovers.
Liz: Oh... that word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza".