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Jack: The United Nations? Does that still exist? I thought it was turned into a Barnes & Noble.
Stewart: Oh, like you capitalist types are doing well. Say, have you learned how to say, "would you like fries with that," in Chinese?
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Jack: Can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?
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Jack: It's 7:00, why don't I hear my mother yelling, "go home," to the Asian contestant on Jeopardy!?
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Jack: (to Liz) Nice dress. Are you going to dinner? Don't forget your book.
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Jenna: (as Janis Joplin) I am so glad that I time-travelled here from 1969. Whoa, what is that iron bird?
Jack: They had airplanes in the sixties, Jenna.
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Jack: I think you'll find being my mother's nurse a mixed bag. When—if she's in a foul mood it can be horribly unpleasant, but at other times she is... asleep.
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Jenna: OMG, Liz, look at you and me and our biological clocks. You're going baby-crazy, and I keep getting turned on by car accidents.
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Tracy: When I'm on my death bed Frenching my wife, I'll be thinking of you.
Jack: Please don't.