30 Rock

Tracy: I've taken this boat many places: Miami, Tokyo, Denver.

Liz: Toofer's just afraid of black people. Tracy: Which one is Toofer? Liz: The black guy.

Tracy: So I said: "Rick, this chick's got an Adam's apple". And Rick said to me... I'll never forget this. He said: "Freaky deakies need love, too. Freaky deakies need love, too."

Liz: You need to tell Jenna that this whole thing was your idea and that I didn't know anything about it and that she should be mad at you, not me. Jack: Oh, sure. Then we could sit around and braid each other's hair until we get our periods at the same time.

Jack: I have other things on my plate. Did you hear about that chemical factory explosion outside of Colorado Springs? Liz: No. Jack: Good.

Liz: Mr. Donaghy, I sincerely apologize; I'm so embarrassed. Jack: Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you're hiding in the storage closet. Liz: This is my office.

Tracy: So, how you doing over there, Theo Huxtable? Toofer: I'm doing good. Tracy: Nah-uh. Superman does good; you're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son. Frank: (to Toofer) Wow, that was embarassing for you.

Jack: Pete, good to see you. Pete: Is it? Oh, good. It's good to see you, too, because that means I'm not fired anymore. I ... wasn't going to mention that. But I did, and now I'm talking about it. Jack: Relax your balls, Pete.

Liz: We gotta do something. Tracy: Let's crash my car to see if the air bags go off. Liz: Let me explain what I'm talking about first!

(after seeing Liz call her paranoid on camera) Jenna: "Paranoid?" Well, that just confirms all my suspicions!

Tracy: Hi, I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black NBC. Very proud! Like peacocks! Right Jenny? I think we got it. I think we got it. Jack: I think we did.

Liz: What if I can't swim? Jack: Then I'll do what my father do when I was two: lure you to the edge of the pool with a puppy and push you in. Liz: Yikes.

Liz: How you doing? Jenna: There is no way I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia? And that he once felt asleep on Ted Danson's roof. Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues. Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face. Liz: When you hear his version, she was kind of asking for it.

Tracy: Pete, hey, you smoke weed right Pete? Pete: Ah...No Tracy: Me either. Me and you, Pete. Me and you.

Toofer: He's an imbecile? Pete: Well, he's our imbecile now. Pete: You're surprised he's still got his shirt—oh, there it goes.