James "Toofer" Spurlock
The trucker hats Frank wears in this episode read "Over Easy," "E.S.P. Tutor," and "Kung Fu Beech."
Liz Lemon's Pros/Cons List:
-takes good care of his feet
-makes good chili
-remembers my birthday
-rarely wants to do it
-is funny when he goofs on his friends
-doesn't care about money
-too lazy to cheat
-would increase likelihood of blue-eyed kid
-loves The Simpsons
-has good hair
-has already seen me throw up two times
-Jack likes Dennis
-not super smart
-listens to Winger
-wears acid wash denim
-always wants food rubs
-not much money
-doesn't like his mother
-I don't like his mother
-his mother doesn't like me
-loves Family Guy
-reads the Post
-insists on spending holidays with his mother
-has already seen me throw up
-wears Italian horn even though Irish
-Jack likes Dennis
(also, Liz presumably puts Dennis' appearance on "To Catch A Predator" in the Cons column)
The day this episode aired Alec Baldwin was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, which he won.
Dennis: I just wanted to drop off your Christmas present. I'd already bought it for you, so... It's a fancy briefcase, you know, because you're classy and important. Like a dude.
Random Guy: (flirting) Hey, is this seat taken?
Liz: (irritated) Ugh! Really, dude? I have to move my coat?! There are, like, four empty seats over there. Can't you just be cool?!
(he sulks away)
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink.
Liz: Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
(Jenna spies some guys in suits at the bar)
Jenna: They're cute. Do you think they're Wall Street guys?
Liz: Yeah, I think they're from the firm of 'Date Rape, Cokington, Cheeseball, & Jag'.
Jenna: I'm taking you out to celebrate—a girls' night. We'll meet some new people.
Liz: Oh, you mean like at a discotheque?
Jenna: Oh, boy...
(Liz watches Dennis on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator" in shock)
Chris Hansen: What are you doing here tonight?
Dennis: (with balloons) I'm here to boff some chick named Mary.
Chris Hansen: "Boff some chick named Mary"... do you know how old Mary is?
Dennis: 22... I think?
(Liz screams, Dennis runs in and turns off the TV)
Liz: Oh, my God!
Dennis: Oh, crap! That girl said she was 16, but I swear to God I could tell she was 22!
Liz: Get out of my apartment!
Dennis: This happened while we were broken up!
Liz: No, no, no, no, no. I was right about you. This is a con, by the way. You on Dateline is a CON!
Jack: Guess where I was last night.
Liz: Mark Foley's pajama party?
Jack: No, Kandahar.
Jack Yeah, I took the corporate jet to hook up with my neocon inamorata.
Liz: Well, I'm glad things are still working out for you and your "mystery lady".
Jack: Actually they're not. I broke up with her.
Liz: Really? What happened?
Jack:Well, I finally realized we're not compatible. I mean I'm all for fantasy role play -- but Abu Ghraib?!
Liz: Well, you know, relationships end, people move on...
Jack: I'm glad at least I gave it a shot. Thank Dennis for making me do this.
Jack: I might have been too hard on the guy. He's OK.
Dr. Smew: So, what else? What else can we not call each other?
Crew Guy: How about sweaty greaseball?
Dr. Smew: Oh, very good, that's highly offensive.
Billy Huckster: Person of color!
Dr. Smew: I guess if you say it like that.
Tracy: Sneaky Taiwanese tranny who stole my watch.
Tracy: Our comedy got to do more than make people laugh, it gotta make people think. I want to hold a mirror to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.
Liz: (about a Great Dane) Whose horse is that?
Dennis: Thats my cousin Teddy's Great Dane. I told him I'd watch him for a couple of weeks 'cause Teddy broke his ankle running from some black guys who pulled a gun on him.
Liz: Now why is it important to tell me that the muggers were black?
Dennis: They weren't muggers, they were cops.
Liz: So why don't you just say that he was running from some cops?
Dennis: I don't know. I mean, you're racist for assuming that they weren't cops.
Jack: (on the phone with his mystery girlfriend) So when can we see each other again? (pause) What are you wearing? Black dress? Black stockings? A funeral, oh. I'm sorry.
Toofer: Think about it, Tracy. All the best African American comedians refuse to do drag. Chris Rock doesn't do it. Dr. Cosby doesn't do it.
Tracy: Bernie Mac doesn't do it 'cause he's look ugly as hell. (pause, to Frank) Forget it. I'm not wearing a dress. It's prejudicial.
Frank: (to Toofer) Thanks a lot. Now what am I suppose to do with this sketch?
Josh: I'll do it. I mean, my parents raised me as a girl for, like, ten years.
Josh: (dressed in drag) Rodney! Don't make me come over there and beat on you with my boom-booms!
Toofer: (looking through a dictionary, sarcastic) Here it is. "-Izzle—a suffix that can take the place of anything."
Tracy: Now you're just being patronizzle.
Frank: Do you know who would love this argument? My racist grandfather.
Liz: (to two men hitting on Jenna) Really?! You think she looks like Jessica Simpson?! You could put a blonde wig on a ferret and it would look like Jessica Simpson! Oh, and by the way, Jessica Simpson would think you guys are old and gross!
Dennis: (reading from his letter) Dear Liz Lemon. While other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us. And for the first time since the '86 World Series I cried. I cried like a big dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we would be together for ever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation" which gives you women the right to choose, and you have chosen to abort me. And that I must live with. So tonight when you arrive home I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatters' rights. (folds the letter) I'll always love you. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you. (he leaves)
Liz: And that is why we are no longer a couple.
The German episode title is "Die Trennung", the French title is "La rupture", and the Spanish title is "La ruptura", all exact translations. The Italian title is "Pro e contro", meaning "Pros and Cons".
Though credited, Scott Adsit and Jack McBrayer do not appear in this episode.
Scott Ellis was nominated for an Outstanding Direction for a Comedy Series Emmy due to his work in this episode.
International Airdates: Czech Republic: February 24, 2010 on Prima COOL
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