The Break-Up

Season 1, Episode 8, Aired

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  • Trivia

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    • The trucker hats Frank wears in this episode read "Over Easy," "E.S.P. Tutor," and "Kung Fu Beech."
    • Liz Lemon's Pros/Cons List: PROS: -basically nice -takes good care of his feet -makes good chili -remembers my birthday -rarely wants to do it -is funny when he goofs on his friends -doesn't care about money -loyal -too lazy to cheat -would increase likelihood of blue-eyed kid -loves The Simpsons -has good hair -has already seen me throw up two times -fixed tv -Jack likes Dennis CONS: -not super smart -listens to Winger -dental hygiene -wears acid wash denim -always wants food rubs -not much money -Catholic -doesn't like his mother -I don't like his mother -his mother doesn't like me -loves Family Guy -reads the Post -insists on spending holidays with his mother -has already seen me throw up -attempted threeway -racist -wears Italian horn even though Irish -Jack likes Dennis (also, Liz presumably puts Dennis' appearance on "To Catch A Predator" in the Cons column)
    • The day this episode aired Alec Baldwin was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, which he won.

  • Quotes

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    • Dennis: I just wanted to drop off your Christmas present. I'd already bought it for you, so... It's a fancy briefcase, you know, because you're classy and important. Like a dude.
    • Random Guy: (flirting) Hey, is this seat taken? Liz: (irritated) Ugh! Really, dude? I have to move my coat?! There are, like, four empty seats over there. Can't you just be cool?! (he sulks away) Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink. Liz: Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
    • (Jenna spies some guys in suits at the bar) Jenna: They're cute. Do you think they're Wall Street guys? Liz: Yeah, I think they're from the firm of 'Date Rape, Cokington, Cheeseball, & Jag'.
    • Jenna: I'm taking you out to celebrate—a girls' night. We'll meet some new people. Liz: Oh, you mean like at a discotheque? Jenna: Oh, boy...
    • (Liz watches Dennis on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator" in shock) Chris Hansen: What are you doing here tonight? Dennis: (with balloons) I'm here to boff some chick named Mary. Chris Hansen: "Boff some chick named Mary"... do you know how old Mary is? Dennis: 22... I think? (Liz screams, Dennis runs in and turns off the TV) Liz: Oh, my God! Dennis: Oh, crap! That girl said she was 16, but I swear to God I could tell she was 22! Liz: Get out of my apartment! Dennis: This happened while we were broken up! Liz: No, no, no, no, no. I was right about you. This is a con, by the way. You on Dateline is a CON!
    • Jack: Guess where I was last night. Liz: Mark Foley's pajama party? Jack: No, Kandahar. Liz: Afghanistan? Jack Yeah, I took the corporate jet to hook up with my neocon inamorata. Liz: Well, I'm glad things are still working out for you and your "mystery lady". Jack: Actually they're not. I broke up with her. Liz: Really? What happened? Jack:Well, I finally realized we're not compatible. I mean I'm all for fantasy role play -- but Abu Ghraib?! Liz: Well, you know, relationships end, people move on... Jack: I'm glad at least I gave it a shot. Thank Dennis for making me do this. Liz: Dennis?? Jack: I might have been too hard on the guy. He's OK.
    • Dr. Smew: So, what else? What else can we not call each other? Crew Guy: How about sweaty greaseball? Dr. Smew: Oh, very good, that's highly offensive. Billy Huckster: Person of color! Dr. Smew: I guess if you say it like that. Tracy: Sneaky Taiwanese tranny who stole my watch.
    • Tracy: Our comedy got to do more than make people laugh, it gotta make people think. I want to hold a mirror to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.
    • Liz: (about a Great Dane) Whose horse is that? Dennis: Thats my cousin Teddy's Great Dane. I told him I'd watch him for a couple of weeks 'cause Teddy broke his ankle running from some black guys who pulled a gun on him. Liz: Now why is it important to tell me that the muggers were black? Dennis: They weren't muggers, they were cops. Liz: So why don't you just say that he was running from some cops? Dennis: I don't know. I mean, you're racist for assuming that they weren't cops.
    • Jack: (on the phone with his mystery girlfriend) So when can we see each other again? (pause) What are you wearing? Black dress? Black stockings? A funeral, oh. I'm sorry.
    • Toofer: Think about it, Tracy. All the best African American comedians refuse to do drag. Chris Rock doesn't do it. Dr. Cosby doesn't do it. Tracy: Bernie Mac doesn't do it 'cause he's look ugly as hell. (pause, to Frank) Forget it. I'm not wearing a dress. It's prejudicial. Frank: (to Toofer) Thanks a lot. Now what am I suppose to do with this sketch? Josh: I'll do it. I mean, my parents raised me as a girl for, like, ten years.
    • Josh: (dressed in drag) Rodney! Don't make me come over there and beat on you with my boom-booms!
    • Toofer: (looking through a dictionary, sarcastic) Here it is. "-Izzle—a suffix that can take the place of anything." Tracy: Now you're just being patronizzle. Frank: Do you know who would love this argument? My racist grandfather.
    • Liz: (to two men hitting on Jenna) Really?! You think she looks like Jessica Simpson?! You could put a blonde wig on a ferret and it would look like Jessica Simpson! Oh, and by the way, Jessica Simpson would think you guys are old and gross!
    • Dennis: (reading from his letter) Dear Liz Lemon. While other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us. And for the first time since the '86 World Series I cried. I cried like a big dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we would be together for ever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation" which gives you women the right to choose, and you have chosen to abort me. And that I must live with. So tonight when you arrive home I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatters' rights. (folds the letter) I'll always love you. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you. (he leaves) Liz: And that is why we are no longer a couple.

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