30 Rock

Liz: It's not fair to let Drew live a lie, and I think I'm the woman to fix him. Jack: Be careful, Lemon. You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on.

(Drew has made dinner.) Liz: Now, what is this? Drew: Dr. Drew's salmon bourguison. Liz: What is this orange-y taste? Drew: Gatorade.

Tracy, Jr.: Thanks to you I now have an unemployed father. Are you trying to make a stereotype out of me? Did you even vote for Obama? Jack: We've heard from Tracy, Jr.; where is your mother? Tracy, Jr.: She said she had to take a spa weekend before my dad "broke it in half". What does that even mean? I shouldn't have to hear that; I'm a child.

Jack: That's it, Kenneth. Don't you see? You are our ace in the hole. Kenneth: How dare you?

Jack: So, how is [Tracy] functioning without you? Kenneth: Oh, I'm still doing everything for him. Tonight, I have to ride my bike over to his house in New Jersey, to hold his hand during Lost.

Jenna: Everybody shout out words that describe my beauty. Peter: Fading. Cerie: 80s. Richard Esposito: 1880s.

Jenna: Obviously, my Today Show charity haircut is just the first step in my reinvention. Pete: This is serial killer language.

Jack: I like to think of this staff as a family. Tracy: This is better than a family. No one around here ask me for my damn bone marrow.

Jack: Well, why don't we make this easy on ourselves and renew your existing contract with a 3% increase. (Tracy takes a long pause before he answers) Tracy: OK. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.