30 Rock

Liz: Tracy, it costs the show a lot of money when you pull these shenanigans. Tracy: Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon!

Liz: Colleen's in town? If you need a break I'd be happy to take her out. There's a restaurant hostess in midtown I'd like to see cry.

Liz: Okay, which one of us is gonna give up first? Tracy: The black one. I can't take it anymore. I hate it. Liz: One of those strippers took off Lutz's shirt. That gland thing is no joke.

Paul: Oh, hello, Jack. I'm sorry, your mom's out shopping. Jack: I know. My credit card company called to confirm my purchase of a book entitled Intercourse After Hip Surgery.

Jack: Who would be our current Nikita Khrushchev? Liz: Simon Cowell?

Liz: Hey, Jack, do you treat me any differently because I'm a woman? Jack: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.

Tracy: Hello, Liz Lemon. I was just telling these fellas about how you don't wanna be treated any differently because you're a woman. Liz: Well, thank you, of course I don't. Frank: Really? You don't us to hold back anymore? Liz: I'm sorry, were you guys holding back something? Frank: Our farts, to start with.

Jack: Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.

Jack: I'm here to pick you up for dinner. Colleen: No dinner, we're having breakfast in the morning. I told your girl. Jack: My assistant is named Jonathan. Colleen: Yes, I've met him.

Jack: It's the biggest mistake of my life, Lemon, and I once made love to Kathy Hilton.

Jack: (on Paul being married) You knew? Colleen: It's Florida, Jack. It's like it never stopped being the 70s down there. And a guy like Paul—who can drive at night—you just don't say no to that.

Jonathan: Sir, your mother had me move her from The Plaza to The Carlyle. Evidently, the concierge at The Plaza, "has a beard, and [she]'d rather not get raped."