30 Rock

Liz: The dream that we had in Chicago of getting famous? We had it. It was my dream, too, Jenna. Jenna: Yeah, but you couldn't have been serious about acting for a living. You have brown hair.

Liz: Jenna has taken the fact that I don't like her movie and blown it completely out of proportion. She twisted my boob!

Barbara Walters: Now, The Rural Juror is the true story of Rory Journer whose pure furor ensures a terrible murder.

Dr. Spaceman: Humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight.

(Pete and Liz are discussing in whispers about the unintelligibility of Jenna's new movie) Pete: You still don't know what the title is? Liz: No, no one does. It's gone on way too long to ask her about it. (cut to executives in Hollywood discussing the title) Executive #1: This title isn't hard to understand, right? Executive #2: No, it's awesome. I love that we can work while we're on cocaine. (cut back to Liz's office) Liz: Could it be "Ruhr-her Gem-her"? Pete: No, that doesn't make any sense. It's gotta be "Oral Germwhore".

Tracy: (to Grizz) I forgot about that Worldcom mess, why you gotta be so obsessed with telecommunications?

Tracy: I need sixty-thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose my house. Jack: Which house? (Tracy is thinking to himself) Tracy: I need a hundred-thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose both my houses. Jack: Tracy, I don't understand. You've starred in fourteen film. You don't have any money saved? Tracy: No, I lost all of it. Jack: Really? Who's your money manager? Tracy: (pointing behind him) Grizz. Grizz: Worldcom, man. Worldcom.

Dr. Spaceman: You boys need anything while you're here? (Spaceman shakes a few pill bottles) Some reds? Some yellows? Just got some purples in from Peru. Tracy: I'm good. Jack: It would be rude not to take one or two.

Frank: Hey Pete, you want to see a comic book with pregnant zombie nuns? Pete: Yes, I do.

Barbara Walters: (to Jenna on The View) Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara, when he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta. Did that hurt her?

Jenna: (about The Rural Juror) It's getting some very positive early reviews. Teenmoviescene.com gave it five out of five iPods.

Tracy: You like Phil Collins? Jack: I got two ears and a heart don't I?

Jenna: The source material was amazing. It's hard to go wrong with a Kevin Grisham novel. Liz: You mean John Grisham. Jenna: Oh, no, Kevin, John's brother. Did you know that before Kevin was a novelist he worked in a recycling center? Liz: Wow! Jenna: And he just finished writing the sequel. It's called Urban Fervor.

Jenna: Hey, I gotta miss an hour of rehersal today because I just found out from my publicist that I've been booked on The View. Pete: Oh, Jenna, thats great. For the first time in your life you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one! Jenna: I know!

Josh: That's disappointing, I had to let Tony watch me pee to get that tape.