3rd Rock from the Sun

August: You know I'm really proud of you. Tommy: For what? The way I slipped in and out of unconsciousness?

Dick: This planet has crossed the line. Assemble the giant robot! Sally: Um...we didn't pack it. You wanted the room for your exercise bike.

Mary: You can't take a random act and turn it around and blame an innocent person. Dick: Just watch me!

Don: Okay Mr. Solomon. It's time to finger your perp. Dick: (points to Mary) Believe me I've tried but she just won't let me.

Dick: Your chirpy optimism has no place in reality. Guess what? Santa Claus is dead! Beaten senseless for his shiny black boots and his reindeer don't give a damn!

Dick: What kind of place is this where you can't wave handfuls of money around in the middle of the night?

Mary: Oh now just relax. You've gotta calm down. Dick: How can I calm down? I feel so utterly exposed and vulnerable. And not in that fun spanky way.

Sally: (to Don) If I had a gun like that, I wouldn't be sitting behind a desk until I ran out of bullets.

Don: We may be in the shadow of Cleveland, but it's in the shadows where evil lurks.

Mrs. Dubcek: You go down to the station and ask for Officer Franco. Italian gentleman, very nice. He came right over when my boyfriend got beat up in my living room. Dick: Your boyfriend got beat up in your own house? Mrs. Dubcek: Yeah, well, my husband didn't care for him.

Sally: Dick, I've been telling you. This planet is in a bad neighborhood.

Sally: (referring to the stolen car radio) Wait a minute. I know what's happened here. You see it all the time on the news. Dick: Uh, toupees? Sally: No. Crime! We're victims of crime!

Sally: (referring to the mall) I think the entire planet should be covered by one big roof. Dick: And we should never be more than fifteen feet from a weenie on a stick.

Tommy: (upon exiting the mall) Well, that was the mall. Wasn't it great? Harry: How would I know? The escalator broke down and I was stuck there for an hour and a half.

Dick: I'm about to reveal something astounding. Mary: I think you're overestimating yourself.