3rd Rock from the Sun

Mrs. Dubcek: This carpet has seen more butt's than Santa Claus' lap.

Dick: Leon, of course it's wrong! The odds against your being right are... staggering! You have a great advantage - you know the outcome. You will be wrong. Don't fear it, embrace your wrongness!

Dick: Why do they call themselves the human race? Do they think someone is going to win?

Mary: You're coming on to me. Dick: I've no idea what that means.

Dick: (Observing a couple making out) Look, life-forms... and they're cleaning each other.

(Dick arrives at a party) Woman: May I take your coat? Dick: If I can keep my pants!

Dick: Our home for this mission is Earth, a third-rate planet. I got a teaching job at a third-rate university. Now we're looking for a third-floor apartment.

Harry: Dick, I can't see through my eyelids. Sally: Open them. Harry: Oh, they're manual.

Mary: Will you tell Dr. Solomon he parked in my space again? Nina: You parked in her space again. Dick: I know, it was empty. Mary: Will you tell him I'm going to have him towed? Dick: Tell her I already have all the toes I need; I am fully-formed.

Sally: Trust me, Dick, women are trouble. I should know, I've been one for two weeks!

Harry: Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.

(Sally is wearing a revealing dress) Nina: (sarcasticly) Nice dress. Sally: I just threw it on. Nina: Yeah, well, you almost missed.

Dick: I think we underestimated the life on this planet. The people have so much courage. Here they are hurling through space on a malting rock on at 67000 miles an hour and the only thing that keeps them from flying out of their shoes is their misplaced faith in gravity.

Mary: For future reference I have a red Volvo. Dick: Please, Dr. Albright, we barely know each other.