Dick-In-Law

Season 3, Episode 4, Aired

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Dick inadvertently lets a huge skeleton out of Mary's parents' closet when he accompanies her on a trip to see her folks, while Sally adjusts to new closet space when she temporarily moves in with Nina.
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      • (Tommy and Harry are moving Sally's belongings into Nina's apartment) Tommy: Oh, Harry, you've got to help me with this box, it's filled with books and rocks and stuff. It weighs a ton! Harry: Step aside, Junior. Time to clean and jerk. (grabs the box) One... two... three. (He picks up but throws it over his head. Tommy laughs) Tommy: It was empty! Harry: No. I'm the strongest man in the world!

      • Mary: Oh Dick, I'll show you where the linens are, so you can make yourself at the couch. Martha: The couch? Oh now pumpkin, it's perfectly okay with Daddy and me if you and Dick share the same room. Mary: No, no it's-- it's not. I know how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Martha: Really. Never stopped you before. Mary: Mom, I-- I-- George: Really, princess, it's fine with us. In fact, it's about time this house saw some action. Mary: Dad, I-- Dick: Say no more, George! It's settled. Mary and I will share a room. George: Done deal! Now let's go outside and smoke these things. I've got some funny stories about Mary. (Dick laughs heartily) Dick: Me too!

      • Dick: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents. Sally: Mary Albright's parents? Tommy: They're still alive? Sally: My God, they must be so old!

      • Dick: From now on people are going to refer to me as a lifelong bachelor. Harry: Does that mean you're going to start wearing pastel and open an antique store? Dick: Whatever gets me the ladies.

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      • Mary's parents are named George and Martha, an allusion to the pathologically embattled husband and wife protagonists in Edward Albee's 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

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